


Impractical

by sephmeadowes



Series: Impossible [2]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Borrowing Characters From Other Fandoms Cause We Need More POC Characters, College, Comedy of Errors, Coming of Age, Edward Cullen Really Couldn't Help Himself, Established Relationship, F/M, Jessica Stanley Is The Heroine We Deserve, No Bella, Roommates With A Witch, Sass Queen Jessica, She Didn't Get Into This School, crossovers kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25267330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephmeadowes/pseuds/sephmeadowes
Summary: Jessica just wanted to get through college alive. Was that too much to ask for?
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Jessica Stanley
Series: Impossible [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1830556
Comments: 27
Kudos: 78





	1. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica is adjusting to college.

When Jessica Stanley was two-years-old, her grandfather told her she had the 'gift of the gab'. She could talk about any topic for hours on end and never get bored and she could talk someone into her point of view by sheer determination and guile. Poppa Everett probably had no idea that this gift would be rendered useless against Jessica's college roommate, a dead coyote, and the revelation that somebody knew that Jessica's boyfriend was a vampire. Her Poppa probably couldn't factor any of those things but Jessica was still going to freaking try.

"Come on, Bonnie. Vampires aren't real," She tried to scoff and play it off. "You think Edward runs around in a cape and sleeps in a coffin? He's moody but not _that_ much."

Bonnie wasn't having enough of it though.

"He never goes under the sun. He's always wearing sunglasses and has that big black umbrella," the other girl pointed out. "He never eats or drinks anything. And he's so pale you could use him as a canvas."

"He's part-albino. It's not his fault he's unable to produce pigment."

Bonnie gave her a look. "Just stop trying to lie, Jessica. I _know_ he's a vampire. I grew up around his kind."

Jessica gaped at her. "What?"

"I'm from New Orleans. It's filled with all sorts of supernatural creatures," she explained. "Including a coven of vampires. I knew what your boyfriend was the first day I met him."

"But you didn't say anything!" she replied, before thinking twice. She grimaced that she basically confirmed Bonnie's suspicions. "And how are you so sure Edward is a vampire?"

"I'm a witch," Bonnie answered nonchalantly. "And again, he's super pale and humans don't have yellow eyes."

Jessica opened her mouth, trying to come up with an excuse and closed it again when she couldn't think of any. _Fuck_. She didn't know what to say to fix this situation. And there was also the fact that witches were a real thing and her mind was spinning with the possibilities.

Bonnie sighed. "Look, the reason I'm bringing this up is because I'm worried about you. From what I've seen you're a nice person and getting involved with a vampire is dangerous."

"Like a shark dating a baby seal," Jessica remarked. "I'm the baby seal in this scenario."

"Exactly. It's just going to end badly," Bonnie agreed. "I thought at first he was using some sort of thrall on you but my magic couldn't find any and from what I've observed, he's the one that follows you around like a lost puppy."

"He has a stalking problem. We're working on it."

Bonnie smiled at her wryly. "There are millions of human boys out there. Pick anyone but the vampire."

"But…" Jessica pouted. "I want this vampire."

"Look, does no one else know you're dating a vampire? And how did that even happen?"

"We went to high school together. We didn't really like each other then one day I realized he's not so bad and now we're dating," Jessica explained. "My friends know and they don't really approve but they're not against it either."

Bonnie shook her head. "And nobody pointed out this relationship was a bad idea?"

"His sister did but nobody likes her so her opinion isn't relevant."

"Nobody else thought you dating a vampire might not be in your best interest?"

"If anything I'm the bad influence. Before me, he was a hundred-year-old virgin. I had to deflower him," Jessica grinned. "Then his siblings danced to a Madonna song. It was a weird night."

Her roommate stared at her like she had three heads. "He hasn't tried to bite you or tempt you into becoming one of the undead?"

"No biting, just moodiness," she replied. "Hasn't said anything about letting me into Camp Drink-Blood."

"Let me get this straight. He's not feeding on you. He's not trying to turn you," Bonnie clarified. "He's just dating you and he just happens to be a vampire."

"He loves me," Jessica explained with a smile. "He puts up with all my jokes about how old he is. He let me name his car."

"You don't need my help in getting rid of him?" Bonnie asked. "Because I know plenty of hexes and he would wish he was really dead."

"He has a tendency to hover but I like having him around," she reassured her. "So no on the hexing."

Bonnie was quiet for a moment as she tried to process all the information. Jessica didn't blame her. It took her all of winter break to take in that Edward was a vampire. Though according to Bonnie she grew up in a place where there were witches and vampires, she should be used to weird.

"Okay," Bonnie finally said. "I'll just have to trust your judgment about this _but_ the moment he even _thinks_ to bite someone I'm spelling him on fire before he can even say 'sparkle'."

Jessica realized that Bonnie might be more formidable than she thought. And they would need to be careful around her. Edward had told her he was only vulnerable to one thing and it was something Bonnie could conjure at the drop of a hat. She needed to tell Edward.

Like nothing out of the ordinary, Bonnie put the dead coyote back in the burlap sack and said, "I'll see you later, Jess."

As soon as Bonnie was out of the room, Jessica called Edward.

* * *

Edward had an uneasy truce with Bonnie. He was wary of her and she was the same with him. They outwardly showed that caution and dislike and it made all their interactions tense. Jessica was in the middle of this play of wills and she was getting sick of it.

She understood Bonnie's hesitance about Edward. She had been unsure about him at the beginning too. She just needed to show Bonnie that Edward was a good guy deep down despite all the hair gel and brooding he did. And Edward had to realize Bonnie was _not_ going to set him on fire no matter how much she threatened to do it on a daily basis.

There were in the middle of lunch in the Dining Hall and Bonnie and Edward were intensely staring at each other. Jessica picked at her salad and wondered about Californians' obsession with avocado. They put it on everything. There seemed to be an unlimited supply of it.

Jessica started, "Guys, what's with all the guac? I mean I like it but-"

"Aren't you a little old to be dating an eighteen-year-old?" Bonnie directed to Edward. "In your day, marrying pre-teens might've been the norm but in this century you're just a creepy old man."

Edward glared at her. "Don't you have some witchy ritual to do? Take a ride on your broom or something?"

Jessica frowned miserably. Why couldn't they just get along? She just wanted to have her roommate and boyfriend be friends. Was that too much to ask?

"How's it going?" Riley appeared and he was cheery as can be. "I can't believe we still have avocados so late in September."

Riley was oblivious to the tension at the table and took the free seat on Jessica's other side. He had a plate of tacos with a large side of guac. She was being haunted by the green stuff. Riley seemed to genuinely like it.

"I don't get why people like them so much," Jessica said. "I don't think they taste like anything."

He stared at her in horror. "Jess, you can't say that around here. People will kill for a good avocado. You will be blacklisted everywhere."

She offered him her guac. "You want it?"

He happily took it from her. "How about I take all your unwanted avocado from now on and I won't tell people you hate the state fruit?"

"Deal," She smiled when he gave her his brownie. "And you give me all your brownies in return."

Bonnie remarked, "You guys are so cute. Why aren't you a couple?"

Jessica gaped at her and turned to Edward who looked annoyed. Riley took a big bite of his taco and tried to pretend he didn't hear what her roommate had just said.

"It would be healthier, right?" Bonnie continued. "Not like a lion falling in love with a lamb? That lamb's gonna get hurt at some point."

Edward closed his eyes, exhaling deeply before he got up and walked out of the Dining Hall. Jessica tried to stop him but he shook her off. She went back to the table and glared at her roommate.

"What the fuck, Bonnie?" she hissed. "Why are you being so mean to him?"

Bonnie moved closer to whisper to hear so Riley couldn't hear. "I can get flashes of memories when I touch people. Why don't you ask Edward what he was busy doing in the late 20's?"

"What?"

Bonnie finally picked up her fork and started on the salad she'd been ignoring. She offered her guac to Riley. Jessica could not get more out of her and she was frustrated. What did Bonnie see about Edward?

* * *

Edward's apartment was just off-campus but near enough that he could easily get to his classes even without his super speed. It was too nice for a college student. While she and their peers were living in tiny dormitories, Edward had a two-bedroom nicely furnished apartment. She had seen it a handful of times and had to remind herself that they needed boundaries from each other and it was too soon to move in with him even as he reminded her that the other bedroom was still unoccupied.

She found Edward playing on the piano that came with the apartment. The old owner had left the piano and Edward had spent his first week there having the piano tuned rather than unpacking his things. He was playing Beethoven's _Moonlight Sonata_ and that's when she knew he was in a really bad mood. The last time he played it was during his mother's death anniversary.

Warily, she approached him. He didn't stop playing even as she stood behind him. She watched his fingers move over the piano keys and was struck with how easily he played. Piano to Edward was like breathing, effortless.

"It just takes practice," he said. "That's what immortals have when they have all this time on this wretched earth."

"I'm sure I could play the flute well if I had a hundred years to do so," she replied, lightly. "I'd be the world's best flute player."

The subtle quirk at his mouth emboldened her. He once said he loved that she could never bore him. She could always make him smile. As long as she could do that, he would never stop loving her.

"Bonnie was kind of an asshole," she remarked. "Sorry about that."

"She wasn't wrong though," He refused to look at her. "You would be better off dating a human and not me."

"I decide that," she returned. "And I want _you_."

His fingers stopped on the piano keys, the last note ringing through the air like a thunder clap.

"You're eighteen," he scoffed. "You're a child. How do you know what you want?"

That sounded too much like her last conversation with Rosalie and she bristled. She frequently joked about their age difference but he never was condescending about her youth till that moment. He enjoyed how she saw the world and never made fun of her for it. He made her sound like she was some naïve idiot that didn't know anything.

"Doesn't matter if I'm eighteen or eighty," she retorted. "I love _you_ , you great big moron. Out of all the boys in the world, human, vampire, werewolf – I chose _you_. And you're just going to have to deal with it."

He shook his head. "You can change your mind."

"No," She went closer and cupped his face in her hands. With him sitting down, the height difference wasn't a problem. "You told me that you're mine. Heart, body, and soul. Same thing for me. I'm _yours_."

He opened his mouth to say more stupid things and she kissed him. He kept still refusing to respond and she kept kissing him, trying to coax him into feeling every emotion bubbling inside of her. She loved him so much sometimes it terrified her. This love that could _break_ her if she wasn't careful.

"I love you, you idiot," she murmured. "Just let me love you."

He gave in, eyes heavy, pulling her closer as he kissed her gently like she was glass. He held her that way sometimes like he remembered how easily his hands could crush her. She deepened the kiss and his cold hands travelled up her spine then rested at the space between her shoulder blades. In the Californian heat, he was a comforting cool breeze.

Jessica was on her way back from Edward's apartment when she remembered she forgot to ask Edward about what Bonnie told her. She was so distracted, she accidentally hit somebody with her car. She had looked away for one second and suddenly a guy in a hoodie was sprawled on the ground. Heart in her throat, she got out of her pickup truck and kneeled beside the guy.

"I'm so sorry," she said worriedly. "I didn't see you. Are you okay?"

He let out a pained groan. Oh God. She might've really hurt him. She took out her phone from her pocket and was about to call 911 when he raised his head and met her eyes. Glowing blue eyes stared at her and she remembered the last time she saw eyes like those.

She looked up at to the sky where there was a full moon. She swallowed, her hands shaking and her phone dropped to the ground. She looked down again and met the guy's glowing eyes and squeaked, "Werewolf?"

He stared at her in disbelief. "What did you just say?"

"You're a werewolf," She laughed, almost hysterical from fear. "My best friend is one so I know what the eyes mean and it _is_ a full moon so you're probably about to go wolf and probably kill me. Please don't kill me."

"What?"

Another car stopped beside hers. It was Bonnie's blue Toyota Prius. The other girl hurriedly got out of the car, running to them. She didn't even look at Jessica as she addressed the guy in the hoodie.

"I said be at the cellar before sundown!" Bonnie exclaimed. "It is way past that, Scott!"

"Sorry," Hoodie guy grumbled. " _She_ hit me with her car."

Bonnie turned to Jessica who was about ready to start screaming at the top of her lungs. There was a werewolf on campus and apparently he was friends with her roommate. Of course he was. Why was she so surprised?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Book 2 of Seph writing her own Twilight trilogy because she can't help herself. New story, new setting, new characters but it's still the same Jessica we all know and love. I had to borrow characters from other fandoms because there just aren't enough humans in the Twilight universe for me to work with and there's a criminal amount of POC characters. And I want to expand the universe a bit so we're getting some witches.
> 
> 1\. Bonnie Bennett is from the The Vampire Diaries TV series. She is not the exact same character as the one in the show. I changed her origins a bit but her personality is still the same. Bonnie was a badass with a big heart who always saved the day. That's not changing here. Will there be more TVD characters? At the moment, no plans for that but never say never.
> 
> 2\. Riley is the same Riley from Eclipse. He's not a vampire in the story and has nothing to do with Victoria and the nomads. He's just a normal human college guy. I followed the book where he's from Santa Fe instead of Seattle like in the movie.
> 
> 3\. Hoodie guy is Scott McCall from the Teen Wolf TV series.
> 
> 4\. What about Jessica's friends? They're doing their own thing but we might be making cameos here and there.
> 
> 5\. Will Bella be in this story? Who knows. For now, it's still tagged a No Bella story.


	2. Magnetic Energy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica makes new friends.

Jessica had to help Bonnie load Scott into her Prius as Scott's hip was aching from Jessica hitting him with a pick-up truck. He needed to be rush to where he could transform into his wolf form and be kept away from mauling everyone at campus. She had only seen Lauren transform once and it had been freaking terrifying. Scott was holding on to the edges of his control, his eyes were still glowing that neon blue, and after a particularly scary growl, Bonnie knocked him out with a spell.

She had stared at her roommate in awe and surprise. It was one thing to know Bonnie was a witch and another entirely to see magic in front of her eyes. Bonnie didn't seem to be bothered and asked Jessica to drive faster. Bonnie cradled Scott's head on her lap and tried to keep her composure.

They ended up in the middle of a forest. Bonnie directed her where to go even in the darkness, their only light source the headlights of the car. They stopped in front of a large tree stump. There was a jeep parked near it with two people rushing towards them.

One was a lanky guy who opened the car door before Jessica could even fully stop the car. He demanded, "Where were you? I have been losing my mind here. Nobody was answering my texts!"

"We were a little busy, Stiles," Bonnie replied as they carried the still unconscious Scott out of the back of the Prius. "Scott got hit by a pick-up truck."

"What?" Stiles exclaimed. "Who was driving? We should sue!"

"Hi," Jessica gingerly got out of the car, following behind them. "I'm Jessica. Please don't sue me. I didn't mean to hit him."

Stiles turned back to her, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Who are you?"

"My roommate, Jessica, from the East Coast," Bonnie answered him. "I told you about her. She's dating the vampire."

"Oh, right, the sparkle lover."

Jessica tried not to take offense but it was a close call. Stiles seemed to shrug off her existence. The other person with him was a girl of Asian descent that was holding a flashlight to guide their way. There was an opened cellar door and they carefully carried Scott down the steps. Jessica followed and saw what must've been the roots of the tree trunk above.

She questioned, "What is this place?"

"Root cellar," Bonnie explained as she and Stiles put Scott down near a wall. She reached for chains and they cuffed them around Scott's wrists and ankles. "There used to be this tree called a Nemeton, some kind of portal to the Underworld. Still has residual magic we can use to keep Scott in here till morning."

"Magical tree, holding cell, got it," Jessica nodded, taking everything in as quickly as she could. She turned to the Asian girl still holding the flashlight. "Hi. I'm Jessica. And you are?"

"I'm Kira," The girl gave a bright smile. "I went to high school with everyone…except well, you."

Stiles cut in, wrapping an arm around Kira. "And we have been dating for one year, three months, and ten days but who's counting?"

Kira went red, smiling on the ground as Stiles kissed her temple. "Not me. I'm not counting. And it's technically eleven days now."

"Where are my manners?" Stiles said. "I'm Stiles Stilinski."

Jessica stared at him in disbelief. "That's your name?"

"It's a family name."

"Are you a witch…or a werewolf too?"

"No. I'm half-Fae, half-human. Or 'fairy' as people keep calling it," he explained. "Which means I'm a walking lie detector with an iron deficiency."

"Fairy," She smiled. "No wings or fairy dust?"

"Not that kind of fairy," Stiles nudged Kira. "My girlfriend here is a fire _kitsune_. She's got awesome fire powers and she can transform into the cutest fox you will ever see in your life."

Kira was blushing again. "Stiles, stop."

"For a while I didn't know the fox following me around was a girl and I called her 'Todd' cause of that Disney movie _The Fox and the Hound_ except without the sad ending," Stiles nodded, grinning. "Good times."

Scott was awake again and he let out a loud growl, his fangs showing as he began to shift. Bonnie stepped away from him quickly and ushered them out of the root cellar. They locked the cellar door behind them and stood there huddled together as Scott's screams continued. Jessica was terrified that someone would hear and call the cops.

It might've been an hour before the screams stopped, only to be replaced by growls and scratching at the cellar door. Bonnie reassured them that she used magic to seal the cellar and he wouldn't be able to get out. They stood staring at the cellar door for another minute before the cold finally got to them. Jessica helped Stiles collect wood for a bonfire and Jessica watched as Kira used her powers to light it up.

They sat around the fire and warmed themselves up. The growling and scratching at the door wasn't stopping and Bonnie didn't look away from it, facing herself away from them to keep watch. Stiles and Kira took out some blankets from the jeep and handed one each to Bonnie and Jessica while they shared a big quilt together. Jessica observed their ease with touching each other and wondered if she and Edward looked that way to others. Were they as cute?

Instead, she asked, "Is everyone in New Orleans a magical creature?"

"Nope. NOLA's a mix of magical and ordinary. You got creatures like us then you got your plain old humans," Stiles answered. "It's made growing up quite interesting."

And Jessica thought Forks was crazy. "Do you have vampires there too?"

"There's a coven. We got a bunch of treaties to keep the factions from outing or killing each other," Stiles continued, frowning. "It holds up. Most of the time."

"Most of the time?"

"Power struggles, politics, murder, all that fun stuff."

"I think we have very different definitions of 'fun'."

Stiles and Kira shared a smile and he asked, "How did a normal human girl end up dating a vampire? You don't seem like an adrenaline junkie."

"It was a small town," she replied. "And to be honest, I'm not really sure why he chose me."

Edward could wax poetic about how much he loved her but a part of her was still in disbelief that he chose her out of all the human girls in the world. If they had met in a bigger place like Palo Alto or New Orleans where he could take his pick, would he still have chosen her? If there had been more people in Forks would he even have noticed her? Were they all just a game of chance?

"Do you plan on becoming a vampire?" Kira asked. "You don't have to answer but if you're gonna date a vampire usually people want to be turned so they can be with them forever."

"We've never really talked about it."

They had plenty of things they tiptoed around and they seemed to grow as time went. Were all relationships like that? Filled of unsaid things they were afraid to bring up?

Both Stiles and Kira were able to sense that she didn't want to talk about it further and didn't ask more questions. She asked them more about growing up New Orleans and the different creatures that lived there. Aside from a vampire coven, they had a werewolf pack, a coven of witches, and a sprinkling of other odd creatures. She told them a bit about Forks and tried to be as vague about the werewolf pack, not wanting to infringe on the Quileute's privacy.

Stiles asked, "This is gonna sound weird but do they have any female werewolves?"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

"The Council has been discussing depleting werewolf lines and they need more girls. Not enough diversity with their current gene pool and there's the whole recessive thing," Stiles paused, looking embarrassed. "Turns out the werewolf gene is recessive so if they mate with humans, less chance of a werewolf being born. And the Children of the Moon could die out in a few decades."

"And you're hoping we have some girls over at Forks just waiting to be swept off their feet and impregnated?"

Stiles' eyes widened in horror and he vehemently sputtered, "No! No! Of course not! Jesus Christ. I would never suggest that."

"What were you suggesting then?"

"That maybe they'd like to take a trip to NOLA and meet some werewolf men who I have been told are 'very dreamy'," Stiles explained. "I've always thought Derek Hale was more grumpy than dreamy but girls think he's good-looking whatever."

"Derek is quite dreamy," Kira laughed at Stiles' appalled face. "He is! And he can be nice when he wants to be. He's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Stiles echoed. "He said he would tear my wings off!"

"You don't have wings," Bonnie pointed out, finally speaking. "And you were being annoying. You're lucky he didn't bite you."

"He wouldn't dare," Stiles scoffed and told Jessica conspiringly. "I'm kind of a big deal in the Fae realm. My grandparents were the Unseelie King and Seelie Queen. That would make me royalty and if Derek Hale even leaves a scratch on my fragile skin there will be war."

Kira rolled her eyes and shook her head in negative. "He might make Derek pay a fine but war is a bit much."

Stiles gave her a look of betrayal. "Whose side are you on?"

"Yours," Kira gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Most of the time."

* * *

Scott transformed back after sunrise. He was passed out and naked in the cellar. Bonnie woke him up and gave him the change of clothes they had in Stiles' jeep so he could get dressed. He looked exhausted as he walked out of the root cellar, leaning on Bonnie for support. Jessica followed them as they made their way to Bonnie's Prius.

"Sorry about the hitting you with my car," she said. "I hope we can be still be friends."

Scott's smile was tired but genuine. "I've had worse. And I've love to be your friend, Jessica."

"Great," She returned his smile. "I'll see you around campus?"

"See you around campus."

Scott got into the Prius as Bonnie started the car. She told Jessica she would see her later at the dorm and they drove away. Stiles had finished extinguishing the bonfire and offered her a ride back to campus. It turned out that he, Kira, and Scott were all staying at Stern Hall and they had been a bit miffed when Bonnie chose to live at FloMo.

"Bon-Bon said something about being closer to her classes but if you ask me she just wanted some space from Scott," Stiles raised his eyebrows at her. "Don't tell her I told you about they've been on and off since kindergarten. It's exhausting but they can't quit each other."

"Kindergarten?"

"It was like a movie. I know cause I was there. They looked at each other while reaching for the same pack of crayons and suddenly there were fireworks and a choir of angels singing," He cocked his head to the side, rethinking. "No choir or fireworks but there had to be soul mate magic afoot."

Kira snorted. "I didn't transfer till the second grade so I'll have to take your work for it."

"Before you, I was in perpetual third wheel land," Stiles shuddered. "Except when Caroline was…"

He abruptly stopped and Jessica looked between the two of them as they both couldn't look at each other. Feeling more an outsider than ever, she asked, "Who's Caroline?"

"She was Bonnie's best friend. Long story. She got turned into a vampire and she now lives in Italy," Stiles tried to play off the awkwardness in his jeep. "She currently works for the vampire mafia."

"Wait," Jessica said. "Vampire mafia?"

"Didn't your boyfriend tell you about them? We don't say their name cause if you say it three times they appear and take your soul," Stiles joked. "Ask him about the Volturi. It's their government though the NOLA coven does everything to avoid them."

"Why do they avoid them?"

"Because they're jerks."

Jessica remembered Carlisle explaining they had a form of government that was obsessed with control and did not like it when people researched about vampires. Edward had been terrified and distressed when she told him what she wanted to study. She didn't know how horrible this so-called 'vampire mafia' was and she needed to learn. If she ever got to researching about vampires and their immortality, they would be a big deterrent aside from her very disapproving boyfriend.

Stiles slowed the jeep as they approached her abandoned yellow Chevy. Edward was standing in front of it, holding a giant black umbrella to shield him from sun. Even with sunglasses on, she could feel his glare. Sheepishly, she said her goodbyes to Stiles and Kira and promised to hang out with them soon.

Stiles and Kira drove off and she approached Edward who with his all black attire and umbrella looked like a grieving widow at a wake. He scowled at her more and she pulled him into a hug.

"Not that I didn't miss you," she murmured. "But what are you doing here? I said I would meet you at the Dining Hall."

"You weren't answering your phone," He pulled away from her. "I was worried. I followed your scent and found your truck here. I couldn't track your scent after that and…and all I could smell was wolf."

"That would've been Scott," she admitted. "And maybe Bonnie used some magic too. I don't know. My phone died last night and I couldn't really charge it in the middle of the woods."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "What were you doing in the woods?"

"Making new friends," she answered. "And guarding a werewolf from escaping a magical cage."

He took off his sunglasses so she could see the full brunt of his exasperation. "Can you _not_ have one normal year? You've befriended a witch, a werewolf, and from the smell of those two, they're not human either."

She shook her head. "Half-fae and a _kitsune_."

"Of course they are," He went and opened her car door and gestured for her to get in the passenger seat. "Let's get you some breakfast and hopefully you don't attract a wendigo on the way."

* * *

Jessica wondered if Edward was right and she _was_ a magnet, if not for trouble than for magic or something. There she was on a Friday night at The Treehouse on campus, eating greasy cheeseburgers and hot wings with a vampire, a witch, a werewolf, a half-fae, and a _kitsune_. They could've been a supernatural version of a sitcom but instead of a laugh track, there were just a lot of shared looks.

With them was also the blissfully human Riley who had no idea of how weird their table was. He'd already met Bonnie's friends before in one way or another. It wasn't difficult to like Bonnie's friends who were all nice and welcoming and it felt _nice_ to finally be with people who knew about the supernatural secret. She didn't have to be terrified of spilling secrets and putting her boyfriend and his family in danger.

She could say anything and they wouldn't find it weird because it was _normal_ for them. And if she didn't know what they were, she would think they were just ordinary college students who talked about classes and school events. Bonnie was majoring in History, Stiles was studying Criminology to get into the FBI, Scott was a Pre-vet major, and Kira was taking up Psychology. They were college students and they also happened to be mythical creatures.

"I know this must be so annoying to answer but why Biochem?" Stiles asked. "Are you gonna be a mad scientist like _Doc Oc_?"

"No mechanical arms. I think that might be more Riley's expertise," She gave a look at Riley who just shrugged. "I want to study Virology and make cures and vaccines. Change the world for the better and all that jazz."

"Why Virology?" Scott asked. "You could go even into Medicine if you wanted."

She glanced at Edward who was glaring at his untouched glass of cider. "It's just what I'm into. I don't think I'd make a good doctor."

Edward snorted and his lips quirked in a smile. "Your bedside manner might need some work."

She smacked his arm. "Shut it."

Edward chuckled and turned to Kira. "Your family name is Yukimura, right? Are you related to Noshiko?"

Kira's eyes widened. "You know my mom?"

"She and my dad met some time ago near Lone Pine," he expounded. "He worked as a doctor in the area."

"Oh," The other girl's eyes widened more if that was possible. "You mean at Manzanar?"

"The internment camps?" Riley questioned. "What would your parents be doing there? Were they even born yet?"

Everybody stiffened, realizing where this conversation was going. Jessica was the first to speak. She laughed loudly and reached over and punched Riley in the arm. He winced.

"Don't be silly, Riley. They obviously meant their parents met at the nearby town," Jessica insisted. "People visit national historic sites and Edward's dad worked at Lone Pine, not at Manzanar."

She turned to Edward. "Right?"

Edward didn't miss a bit. "Of course. That's what I meant."

"Okay," Riley reached for a wing and began chewing on it. "It's a small world isn't it? Your parents met before and now you're meeting each other."

"Yeah," Jessica agreed, realizing she knew even less than she did that morning. "Small world."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. I had to take a break from writing. I was exhausted after Impossible. I might just not do daily updates for this story cause that was insane.
> 
> 1\. This chapter is very exposition-heavy. Stiles was very good for that. Any information on these characters will be more paced out throughout the story. Just needed the basics about them out of the way.
> 
> 2\. Scott, Stiles, and Kira are all from the Teen Wolf TV show. I am going to be taking liberties with that show's canon to fit into this story. Stiles was not part-fae on the show but he is here for sake of my amusement. Stiles/Kira was not canon on the show by any means but they're a couple here. I will be making references on how they got together. Scott/Kira never happened in this story. He's been in love with Bonnie since kindergarten as Stiles said.
> 
> 3\. Bonnie and her friends are all from New Orleans and it's a mix of Teen Wolf and The Vampire Diaries as we get mentions like Caroline Forbes and Derek Hale. Whether they appear in the story or not later is still debatable.
> 
> 3\. Kira's mom, Noshiko, is also a kitsune. And I took liberties with her history as she was at an internment camp for Japanese-Americans at this fictional place called Camp Oak in Teen Wolf. I relocated her story to the real life internment camps in Manzanar and this all happened during World War II where she met Carlisle.
> 
> 4\. The Nemeton was a big plot tool in Teen Wolf. I've relocated it near Stanford though there is one in NOLA too.
> 
> 5\. Vampire Mafia is from Kenny J.D. on Youtube. I wish I was as funny as her.


	3. Very Good Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends give good advice.

Stiles Stilinski's Ten Rules for Surviving the Supernatural World:

1\. First rule of Supernatural Squad, you don't talk about Supernatural Squad.

2\. Second rule of Supernatural Squad, _you don't talk about Supernatural Squad_. Rule is repeated for emphasis.

3\. Don't go anywhere alone. Wait for back-up. Wanna explore a spooky church in an abandoned town in Mexico? Or you just wanna check out that unusual noise in the basement? _Always_ wait for back-up.

4\. Don't hesitate to run for your life. Run fast. I wanna see some hustle, Anderson.

5\. Something's weird? Share with the group. Knowledge is power.

6\. No touching strange magical objects. And that includes a questionable jar of mayo. Consult a witch first (Bonnie).

7\. When in doubt, ask a witch (Bonnie).

8\. Are you injured? Scratch from a werewolf? Or you skinned your knee running away from a berserker? Ask help from a witch (Bonnie again).

9\. Read and reply to texts. Answer calls. Please. Even just a "not dead" will do.

10\. Nobody gets left behind. All for one and one for all. And all that jazz.

Jessica finished reading and passed the piece of paper over to Edward. It must've been ripped from Stiles' notebook and he probably wrote it during class. He handed it to her as they bumped into each other in the middle of the hallway and he firmly told her to memorize the list, stressing it was a matter of life and death. She had learn over the past few weeks that Stiles considered a lot of things a matter of life and death including a trip to Domino's in the middle of the night or getting to sit under his favorite oak tree on campus so Stiles could commune with nature.

Jessica liked Stiles even if she found him annoying at times. Edward on the other hand, _hated_ Stiles as Edward found him incredibly exasperating. Stiles shared Jessica's gift of the gab and that meant they could talk for hours about any topic while Edward had an existential crisis in the corner. Despite Edward admitting that fae blood was intoxicating to his kind Stiles' witty jokes and prone to hyperbole made Edward want to kill him but not for his blood.

Stiles didn't really like Edward and he didn't hide it. Kira had explained to them that one of their friends in high school, Caroline, was turned into a vampire in their senior year and Stiles had taken it the hardest and now he disliked vampires in general. Jessica didn't think Stiles' bias towards Edward was fair but she didn't know the whole story about what happened in New Orleans and she didn't know all of them long enough to earn it yet. She hoped she did someday as she really liked these people.

Edward grimaced as he finished reading, folding it in half and placing it on her bedside table. "What does he think we do in our spare time? Fight the forces of evil? Try to topple a dictatorial government?"

"Apparently NOLA is a really interesting place," Jessica replied. "Nothing like Forks."

"Nothing happens in Forks."

"Aside from the vampire family moving in and our friendly neighborhood wolf pack," She grinned. "You're right though. Forks is boring compared to, well, anywhere."

"Not true," he countered. "Forks has some interesting people. Like there's this girl who fell in love with a vampire…"

"Ooh, yes. I heard about them," she agreed. "Very _Romeo and Juliet_. Forbidden love and tragedy, kissing on the balcony…"

"I was thinking more like _Taming of the Shrew_."

She gaped at him. "Are you calling me a shrew, Cullen?"

"If the shoe fits…"

She smacked his arm and he just laughed. "You are the worst boyfriend ever! I should dump you and elope with Kira and we can live in Iceland with our adopted ten children!"

"Stiles would never let you take Kira away from him," Bonnie remarked as she entered the room, having just come back from her last class. "And if you're gonna ask anybody to elope with you and be your girlfriend, it should be me."

"I thought about it, Bon, but I can't win a duel against Scott. He's got muscles," Jessica replied matter-of-factly. "I can, however, take on Stiles and his spaghetti arms."

"He's stronger than he looks," Bonnie took a seat on her bed, relieved that day was over. "Have you picked a topic for your English paper? Professor Sienna is not up for the hidden feminism of Austen's work."

"I don't know what she wants," Jessica pouted. "I wanted to talk about _Frankenstein_ and the parallels of the story to Mary Shelley's life but she turned it down."

Edward questioned. " _Frankenstein_?"

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "It's that or _Dracula_."

Bonnie shook her head. " _Carmilla_ would be a better choice and you can talk about men's fear of and the demonizing of women's sexuality."

"Which has similar themes in _Dracula_ ," Jessica wanted to clap her hands in excitement but deflated. "Sienna isn't gonna go for it though. That woman does not like classic horror."

"How about _Pride and Prejudice_ and how romance can take time to develop?" Edward offered. "Their first impressions on each other were wrong and it's only when they let go of their preconceived biases on each other that they could really fall in love."

"You want me to make a comparison between one of the greatest literary love stories of all time and the two of us?"

He smiled. "Why not?"

Bonnie got to her feet, grabbing her bag. "I'm gonna go to the library and look for a topic there instead of having to watch you two make moony eyes at each other."

Moony eyes? As if Bonnie had a leg to stand on. Scott looked at Bonnie like she hung the moon and all the stars in the sky. Edward looked at Jessica the same way.

* * *

October came and with it the terrifying promise of midterms. Jessica spent a good deal of time studying at the library with Riley and Bonnie. She gave up studying with Kira and Stiles (who were a package deal) as Stiles would get distracted and could waste an hour on unrelated topics like the Han Shot First debate or if Edward's telepathy could be harnessed to work on animals. Scott would join them occasionally and Riley would tutor him in Math.

Edward didn't share any classes with them and he didn't need to be as studious so he usually did his own thing and they would meet up before or after. He still believed Riley had a crush on Jessica and there was a weird tension that Riley was obliviously ignoring. Surprisingly, the person Edward got along best within the group was Scott. Despite being enemy species, Scott was too warm and friendly to dislike and it made easy for the two of them to put aside whatever prejudices they had and get along.

Jessica was coming back from a study session when she spotted Edward and Scott standing under the shade of Stiles' favorite oak tree. She walked up to them and greeted them. They both shushed her. She frowned and asked in a whisper, "Why do I have to be quiet?"

Edward inclined his head towards where Bonnie was talking to another student. He was a tall, dark, and handsome with a perfect smile. He said something that made Bonnie smile. Scott was glaring at him, his eyes beginning to glow a bit blue.

"Scott," she hissed. "Don't go all _The Wolfman_ on us."

He closed his eyes, head bowing as he tried to keep himself under control. He sat down on the ground as he began chanting that Buddhist mantra he liked. "Three things cannot be long hidden – the sun, the moon, and the truth…"

She turned back to Edward and he was still staring at Bonnie and the other student. "Were you two listening in on their conversation?"

Edward grimaced. "Not exactly…"

"Which means you were and you're listening to their thoughts too," Jessica shook her head in disapproval. "Do either of you know what privacy means?"

"We're just concerned for Bonnie."

"More like Scott here is jealous and you're helping him spy on my roommate."

"And we also want to make sure that Bonnie isn't being approached by somebody that would do her harm."

"Translation – yeah, we're being creepy but we're doing it for Bonnie's sake," Jessica countered. "And FYI, the guy she's talking to is Jesse Sampson. He's a Third Year Biology major. Riley knows him and says he's a good guy."

Scott had recovered and got to his feet, sheepishly smiling at her. "Sorry, Jessica. When it comes to Bonnie, I get all stupid."

"You need to trust her. I know things are complicated between the two of you but stalking her and invading her privacy is not going to win you any brownie points."

He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "Duly noted."

She turned back to Edward and poked him in the sternum. "And you should not be recruiting people into your bad habits."

"I was just trying to help my friend."

And she knew he really was in Edward's twisted logic of things. Edward did not like having to go out of his way to do things for people and he was trying to help Scott. As much as she disapproved how they chose to bond, she was glad Edward was making a friend. He needed one. It was healthy for him.

Bonnie finally done talking to Jesse came over. "Hey. What's going on?"

Jessica smiled brightly. "Nothing. Just the boys treating us to dinner."

Bonnie raised her eyebrows. "Oh?"

Scott deflated a bit at the look Jessica gave him and guiltily nodded in defeat. "Sure, Bon. Anything you want."

"Well, how thoughtful."

She moved closer to Scott and took his hand. He smiled widely. They began discussing where to have dinner and debated their options. Jessica and Edward followed behind them.

The sun had set and they were at dusk. Edward didn't need an umbrella as they walked around campus. The sky was a painting of oranges and purples. This time of the day suited Edward best.

She wrapped her arm around his and leaned into him. "I'm glad you're making a friend but no more stalking, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She hoped he kept that promise. Edward couldn't help himself at times. She had to have faith in him. He was learning just like she was.

* * *

Jessica told Riley about Scott and Edward spying on Bonnie (sans super hearing and telepathy) and it made Riley laugh in disbelief.

"Jesse?" he said. "He won't go for a girl that's taken. That's not who he is."

"Right? And even if he was, Scott should trust Bonnie. She does love him even if they can't seem to make it work," Jessica responded. "And Bonnie's not really interested in anybody else. She looks at Scott like he's the sun."

"Maybe not everyone's like you and Edward," Riley looked wistful. "It's not as easy for everybody else."

"It's not easy between us. Far from it. We have to work on our relationship," she explained. "And I don't think any relationship is easy. Maybe you just have to make a choice to choose that person, you know? Choose them every day over everything else."

"What happens when choosing them doesn't feel worth it anymore?"

She paused then asked, "You and your girlfriend still fighting?"

"Every time we talk we're either in an argument or it's just awkward. Everyone tells you that long distance is hard but I didn't know it was going to be this hard," He sighed. "And she gets jealous. If I mention you or Bonnie or the barista at the café, she immediately thinks I'm looking for a replacement."

"But you're not."

"And I've told her that many times. She gets really angry when I mention you. She thinks I'm thinking about running away into the sunset with you."

"Did you tell her I have a boyfriend?"

"I did. She doesn't want to listen," He ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair, a nervous habit of his. "She wants me to transfer to Santa Fe next semester. She wants to give up _Stanford_ for her."

Dread pooled in her belly. "Are you going to?"

"No. I won't and I never will," He looked around at the numerous books surrounding them. "Give up all of _this_ for a girl? I would have to be crazy to do that."

She remembered when she got her acceptance letter and she realized that she might not have Edward with her in college. She had been apprehensive to have to ask him to go to California with her but it never crossed her mind to go to a college in Boston or New York for him. She knew that even if he asked her to give up her dream college for him, she would've refused. Even if it came at the cost of the relationship, even if she lost him, she would never make that sacrifice.

He looked back at her, his brown eyes staring into hers. "What do you think? Should I break up with her?"

"I don't think I should be the one-"

"If you were me, would you break up with her?" When she didn't answer, he reached across the table and took her hand in his. His hands were calloused from years of guitar. "Please, Jess? I need your advice."

"If it were me…" She swallowed, closing her eyes as she spoke the truth. "I would choose Stanford."

"Yeah…" Riley pulled away. She opened her eyes and stared at him in regret as he looked down at the table with a sad smile. "And that's the end of a three year relationship."

She felt guilty but Riley had pushed her. Maybe she was a bad friend for being too honest. Maybe she told him what he wanted but not what he needed. She wished she had Angela or Bonnie there to ask for their help. They were better at these things.

She asked, "What's her name again?"

"Vicki," he answered, reaching for his phone on the table and unlocking it to show her a photo of a pretty brunette. "Vicki Donovan. I've known her since grade school."

She stared at the smiling girl and felt sorry for her. It couldn't be easy being miles away from the boy you loved, wondering if he was finding another girl to take your place. She tried to imagine Edward in New York with his family surrounded by girls who talked to him about classical music as their relationship slowly disintegrated into nothing. Would she be jealous and scared and beg Edward to give up his new life for her too?

Riley put away his phone. "Bye bye, Vicki."

Would she have been any better? She honestly didn't know. And she was glad she didn't have to know what it was like to be Vicki Donovan. Bye bye, Vicki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. It's been a while. I needed to take a break from writing and now I'm feeling better. I still won't be updating daily. That's too much.
> 
> 1\. Jesse and Vicki Donovan are characters in TVD who I've repurposed as minor characters for this story. Jesse was a college student at Whitmore with Bonnie, Caroline, and Elena. Vicki was a high school student in Mystic Falls who I've relocated to Santa Fe.
> 
> 2\. Chapter title is from a song in Alice in Wonderland (1951).
> 
> 3\. Trying to remember my college days is giving me anxiety. Oh, midterms. Dear Lord.


	4. We're Up All Night To Get Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time.

Riley was saddened about the break-up. It hadn't been easy to end a three year relationship and he did genuinely love Vicki. As midterms came closer, Riley distracted himself by studying more. He and Jessica would leave the library just before dinner and they would make their way back to FloMo.

They would have dinner at the Dining Hall with Bonnie and Edward. At least twice a week, Stiles, Kira, and Scott would join them. Stiles kept the conversation going as they ate, helping distract them from the rising stress of upcoming exams. Dinner would pass by with a debate ranging from pop culture to which of the professors could be a demon that escaped a hell dimension.

Riley and Scott's birthdays were only two days apart and they decided to have a joint celebration over the weekend. Edward offered his apartment as a venue and even agreed to supply beer for the party. The girls went to his place earlier to help him set up. Kira had worked on a big banner birthday banner and Bonnie brought a collection of board games for them to play.

Jessica and Edward were on food and drinks duty. Bonnie and Kira had picked out the cake from a bakery off-campus. Jessica Skyped with Angela for a pasta recipe and Riley agreed to make the three-cheese nachos she loved. Edward pulled out a six pack of beer from the fridge and placed it on the kitchen table.

"Do you have a fake ID?" Jessica asked. "I don't think your documents from forty years ago can be used anymore."

Edward pulled out his wallet and handed her a very convincing driver's license. It stated he was twenty-one years old. "Jasper has a guy for these things. We've been employing him for over twenty years."

"And this guy hasn't noticed none of you age?"

"We pay him well enough not to ask questions."

She handed him back his ID. "Maybe he can hook me up with my own."

"Maybe," Which sounded a lot like 'not happening'. "Or you can wait to turn twenty-one like everybody else."

"But…" She pouted. "That's three years away."

"Time goes by faster than you think," he told her. "Trust me. I'm a hundred and six."

The boys arrived and they played a heated game of Pictionary with girls versus boys. Edward was banned from using his telepathy which frustrated him but he was very good at drawing. As a joke, they made all the topics titles of supernatural horror movies and TV shows. Edward was currently drawing what looked like a wolf wearing a top hat.

Stiles exclaimed, " _Dances with Wolves_!"

Jessica countered, "That's not a werewolf film!"

Edward shook his head and drew a monocle on the wolf.

Scott cut in, " _The Wolfman_!"

"No!"

Kira who was the timer, pointed out, "Thirty seconds!"

Riley offered, " _Brotherhood of the Wolf_?"

"No!"

Kira called out, "Twenty five seconds!"

Edward drew a teacup beside the wolf.

Stiles jumped up from the coach, giving the winning answer, " _An American Werewolf in London_!"

"Yes!"

Forgetting any animosity between them and Stiles pulled Edward into a manly hug and patted his back enthusiastically. "Great drawing, Eddie!"

Bonnie stood up and went to the drawing board and pulling up a fresh page. Kira restarted the timer and gave her the "Go!" signal. Bonnie started drawing a bat. It had to be a vampire film.

Jessica offered, " _Dracula_!"

"No!"

" _The Lost Boys_?"

"No!"

Bonnie drew two people kissing.

"Oh! I know this!" Jessica tried to remember that Nicholas Cage film where he shouts about the alphabet. "Um, it's, um…"

Kira said, "Twenty seconds!"

"Vampire something…." Jessica wanted to scream. It was on the tip of her tongue. Bonnie drew arrows around the two people and their lips. " _Vampire's Kiss_!"

"Yes!"

Bonnie high-fived Jessica. Stiles took the marker from Bonnie and Kira handed him the topic. He pointed to his cheek and Kira rolled her eyes and gave him a kiss for good luck. He went to the drawing board.

Stiles pointed two fingers at his eyes then pointed at Scott. They both nodded at each other enthusiastically. He pulled out a fresh page on the board and uncapped the marker as Kira restarted the timer. He declared, "Bring it on."

Edward got them more beer at some point and an expensive bottle of tequila as a present for Riley and Scott and they got drunk at the end of the night. Edward had made himself the designated driver even if he was already home and drove everyone back to their dorms. Jessica was passed out on the couch after the drunken game of Monopoly where everyone swore at each other and made death threats so he carried her to the guest room to sleep. She woke up the next morning with a hangover and stumbled into the kitchen where Edward was cooking.

"Good morning," he greeted her brightly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm dying."

She had an intense craving for bacon. She took a seat at the kitchen table as Edward opened the fridge and reached for the bacon. What did she do to deserve him? Why did he even have food in his apartment?

Could you he add more cheese to that omelet? He added more cheese and she could've kissed him. When he was done, he placed a plate of food in front of her and she dug in. He even had freshly squeezed orange juice.

"Edward," she said. "Do you have a fridge full of food just in case I stay over?"

He ran his fingers through his auburn hair. "Maybe."

She smiled. "I love you."

He returned her smile. "I love you too."

* * *

Jessica was drained after her last midterm exams and felt even more exhausted as she remembered she still had finals to worry about. She and Riley were discussing the questions in the exam when they were stopped by campus police. They wanted to ask him a few questions. Riley suggested she went ahead to The Treehouse where they were all meeting up with everyone and he would catch up with them later.

Bonnie had spoken to the campus police earlier as a student was missing. It was Jesse, the upperclassman she was seen talking to a few times. He'd gone missing over the week and his friends were concerned. Riley arrived at The Treehouse and verified that they did question him of the last time he'd seen Jesse which was last Friday. Jesse was the teaching assistant to microbiology professor, Dr. Wesfield, and had reported he hadn't seen him since last Friday after classes ended.

"Maybe he went home for the weekend," Stiles offered. "And he forgot to tell anyone. It could've been a family emergency."

"Jesse's from Florida. And they already called his parents and they said he wasn't there," Riley sighed deeply. "I really hope he's okay."

"Let's just hope they find him soon and that he's fine," Kira said. "Maybe it's all just a misunderstanding."

"I hope so."

Riley had to leave to go talk to a few people in FloMo if they heard anything about Jesse. Once he was gone, Bonnie muttered something under her breath and a cooling sensation wrapped around them like an invisible blanket. This was Bonnie's magic. Jessica had never seen her use magic before.

Bonnie was looking at Edward suspiciously. "What were you doing over the weekend?"

"I was in my apartment," Edward replied defensively. "Jessica spent the weekend with me. She can confirm it."

Jessica nodded. "I was there. And you don't think he's a suspect do you, Bon?"

"I don't know," Bonnie said flippantly. "I just know there's a missing guy and there's a vampire who's killed people before on campus."

"Bonnie!" Jessica stared at her in horror. "Edward has never killed anyone."

"Is that what he told you?" The witch narrowed her eyes at Edward. "What about Charles Evenson?"

The wooden table creaked under Edward's grip about to break into pieces. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"You don't know the full story."

"Then tell us then," Bonnie insisted. "If you want us to trust you and be our friend then you have to be honest."

Edward looked around the many people around them warily. "You put up a silencing spell?"

"Just at the table," Bonnie nodded. "Now talk."

Jessica didn't know what to do. Edward hadn't denied anything. His expression was closed-off, making his features harsher. He didn't look at her as he began speaking.

"It was a few years after I was turned. My father had turned a new vampire named Esme…"

It wasn't a pleasant story. Jessica hadn't known the story of how Esme was turned and the truth was heartbreaking. Surviving an abusive marriage and losing her baby before trying to take her own life, Esme's human life had been cruel. She knew how much Edward adored his adoptive mother so learning that he killed her husband didn't shock her as much as it should. But a part of her was horrified. Taking another human life was not a small thing.

"I don't regret it. He deserved what I did to him. He was a monster and if taking his life made me a monster too then so be it," Edward declared. "None of you get to judge me for what I did."

"Hey, man, no judgment here," Stiles told him. "You did it for your mom. We can understand that."

"Yeah," Scott smiled at him sadly and patted him on the shoulder. "I would kill for my mom too."

Kira let out an awkward shrug. "My mom's a nine hundred-year-old _zenko_. She's killed a few people."

Bonnie let out a deep sigh, partially mollified. "Let's say this one was justified. What about the others?"

"Criminals, murderers, and rapists. I used my power to look for the worst and hunted them down," Edward explained. "But I never have and never will take an innocent life. I did _not_ kill Jesse Sampson."

They all quietly absorbed that information before Scott said, "I believe him."

"I do too," Stiles agreed. "You were like a real life _Punisher_ except you used your fangs instead of guns."

"I'm not a superhero," He finally looked at Jessica, his expression softening. "Are you okay?"

"It's just a lot to take in," He reached for her hand and she accepted it, his cold touch like a shock of ice water. "I think I need some air."

They left the group and made their way outside. It was already dark and Edward led them away from The Treehouse and the noise inside. It wasn't as cold there in Palo Alto as it was in Forks even in the middle of autumn. She hid her hands in the pockets of her jacket and stared at the leaves of the oak trees, the leaves were the same color as Edward's hair.

"Why did you stop?" she asked. "Killing bad people? You could've just continued."

"Because I realized that even if they may have deserved it, my soul couldn't handle it," he answered. "Or whatever semblance of a soul I have left. And I wanted to come home. I missed Carlisle, as much as my father can drive me insane, he's what I had. And Esme…she loved me the moment she met me. She said I was the son she'd always wanted."

"You stopped because you wanted to be loved again," she remarked. "You wanted to be better than those you were hunting."

"I don't think I'm better," he admitted, swallowing. "But I didn't want to be worse."

"You're not and you can't be," She moved closer and raised herself up on her tiptoes to kiss the corner of his mouth. "I have seen your soul and it can never be dark."

"Just moody and anti-social," he joked drily making her laugh. "Carlisle says vampires have no soul."

"He could be wrong," Jessica stared into his golden eyes, her boy of autumn. "He has to be wrong."

* * *

Missing posters for Jesse Sampson were posted all over campus. It put a cloud of worry and sadness over the student population. Jesse was well-liked among his fellow students and by his professors. He was active in student council and different clubs and was regarded as a bright student brimming with potential.

There were not many leads pertaining to his disappearance. It was like he was there on Friday and suddenly he was gone. There were no signs of a struggle but all of his stuff was still in his dorms. His car was still parked on campus.

Students had been leaving flowers on his car. Jessica found Riley standing in front of Jesse's car after class, staring at the dying flowers on the windshield.

"Hey," she greeted him softly. "Are you okay?"

"They're acting like he's already dead," Riley replied. "It's been almost a month and everyone thinks he's dead."

"They haven't found a body," she opposed. "He's still out there somewhere. You can't give up hope."

"The more I hope the more it just feels futile," Riley sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm not the best company at the moment. I'll see you in class tomorrow."

He walked away and she watched his retreating back. Riley was usually so cheerful it was painful to see him so down. She couldn't blame him as he had lost a friend and felt powerless to help. She couldn't imagine how she would've felt if she lost Angela or Lauren or even any of her new friends in college. Just the thought brought terror through her heart.

She would've gone after Riley and tried to cheer him up but it was a full moon that night and Scott needed them. Edward was coming with them this time and they were more prepared than last time. They were taking Winnie instead of his car as her truck was better for the woods and they were meeting everyone at the root cellar. Edward had never seen a werewolf transformation apart from what he'd seen in their memories and was intrigued if not a little apprehensive.

Everyone was already there when they arrived. Scott was looking a little grey as he went down to the root cellar. Bonnie spelled the cellar door closed and Jessica helped Kira and Stiles with the bonfire. There was a small tin on the ground by the cellar door and Edward picked it up and opened it. He brought it up to his nose and sniffed it.

"I wouldn't inhale that," Bonnie told him. "It's mountain ash."

"Rowan trees?"

She nodded. "The ashes of rowan trees can be used for magic. We can trap magical creatures with it."

"Back in high school, Scott and I got into a fight and Bonnie trapped us in a room with that stuff till we made up," Stiles said, shaking his head. "And we couldn't break the enchantment no matter what we did."

"A circle of mountain ash can only be broken by a human or a witch," Bonnie continued explaining, taking the tin from him. "Ingestion is also not advised."

"What happens if you do?" Jessica asked. "Do you die?"

"No one has ingested enough for that but it causes nausea and vomiting."

They all sat in front of the bonfire as Scott's transformation started. Edward looked concerned the entire time as he was able to hear Scott's screams the loudest.

"Is there no spell or potion to help him?" he asked. "He sounds like he's suffering."

"Unfortunately, no," Bonnie kept her eyes on the cellar door. "I've looked for anything but nothing helps. I can help heal him after but not before or during."

"They call it a curse for a reason," Stiles said, wearily. "Scott's strong. He can survive it."

Jessica was sharing a blanket with Edward even if he didn't need it. She leaned into him and tried to reassure him. "He's going to be okay. He's done this before."

"He shouldn't have to," Edward insisted. "The Quileutes don't suffer through this so why should Scott have to?"

Jessica almost said that Lauren suffered through this every month too. That somewhere in Seattle, Lauren was screaming herself hoarse as her bones broke and remade themselves. That even if Jessica flew to Seattle there was nothing she could do for her friend but worry and hope she made it through the night. But Edward had never really cared for Lauren so he hadn't cared about her being in pain.

"I didn't know it was this bad for her," Edward admitted. "I just thought…I didn't know what I thought."

That was the closest to an apology she would ever get from Edward so she just held his hand through the night. Stiles distracted them by telling them more stories about New Orleans. It was like a bottomless pit. A particularly riveting story involved an abandoned church in Mexico as they fought their way through a group of berserkers for an artifact the witches were looking for.

"All hope is lost, the berserkers are about to kill us, and then here comes Derek Hale and he just kills them with his bare hands!" Stiles said. "Who does he think he is? And he came with Parrish who, get this, is a freaking hellhound!"

Jessica echoed, "Hellhound?"

"Hellhound! They're like the distant cousin of werewolves, harbinger of death and all that."

Kira pointed, "And Deputy Parrish is very dreamy."

"And he's very-" Stiles paused and stared at his girlfriend in disbelief. "He's like twenty-seven, Kira."

"He's twenty-four," Kira countered. "And very dreamy."

Bonnie grinned. "With those green eyes."

Stiles grimaced. "Right, so Parrish with his _dreamy green eyes_ sets the Berserkers on fire, giving Scott time to recover from his wounds. The Berserkers were under the command of this dark witch Papa Tunde and Scott runs up to him and punches him in the face! Like _pow_! He goes down and the day is saved!"

They clapped as the story ends, Stiles getting to his feet to bow. "Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here next month."

Jessica asked, "What happened to Papa Tunde after that?"

"Parrish arrests him and the witches' council had him imprisoned," Bonnie explained. "Somewhere he can't escape."

"And where would that be?" Edward questioned. "Couldn't he use magic to get out?"

"Magical pocket universe. Incredibly hard to access and escape," the witch answered, frowning. "It's that…or execution but that rarely happens."

"Executions more of the vampires' thing," Stiles remarked. "The Strix are very strict about rule breaking. They don't want any cause to have the Vampire Mafia come over."

Edward looked thoughtful as he replied, "I can understand that."

When morning finally came, they opened the root cellar and Edward helped Scott to Bonnie's Prius. Scott looked exhausted and had a few bruises and scratches that would heal later. Jessica helped Kira and Stiles clean up. They still had class later and would have to go on no sleep.

"If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to call me," Edward told Scott. "I'm serious."

"Thanks, Ed," Scott smiled. "Would a bottle of that fancy tequila count?"

Edward's mouth quirked in a smile. "I'll think about it."

Bonnie chided them gently as she started her car, "No alcohol post-full moon."

Scott shook his head. "Don't listen to her."

Bonnie rolled her eyes and told them goodbye as she pulled out her car and drove away. Jessica and Edward left next with Stiles yawning as he hugged them farewell. Kira waved as they drove away. Edward drove as Jessica watched the view from the window, the scenery blurring in her drowsy state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold, my plot. We covered a lot in this chapter.
> 
> 1\. Canonically, Esme was turned into a vampire in 1921, three years after Edward. He left Carlisle and Esme and began feeding on criminals in 1927, Charles Evenson was his first victim. He stopped and went back to his family in 1931, two years before Rosalie was turned. Thanks, Twilight wiki.
> 
> 2\. Riley's birthday in the books is October 8th and Scott's birthday is October 6th. And when I learned that I was like, "joint birthday party".
> 
> 3\. Zenko is a celestial kitsune which is what Noshiko Yukimura is. She really is 900 years old.
> 
> 4\. Jordan Parrish and the Berserkers are from Teen Wolf. I took some liberty with the Berserker story line from the show. The Argent family doesn't exist in this universe (sorry Allison fans). Papa Tunde is a character from The Originals.
> 
> 5\. The idea of magical pocket universes as prisons is from TVD. Mountain ash is used heavily in Teen Wolf. I researched and found that rowan trees are called 'mountain ash' so I went with that explanation.
> 
> 6\. Chapter title is from the Daft Punk song.


	5. Jessica Stanley vs. the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica and friends go to a barbecue.

Jessica and Riley were on their way to class when a girl stopped them outside of their General Psychology class. She was of Asian descent, as short as Jessica, and wore glasses over almond eyes that were staring at Riley in adoration. Ever friendly Riley smiled at her and the girl's smile lit up her face. She was one of the many people that fell under Riley's sweet and effortless charm.

"Hi Megan," Riley greeted her. "How's your day been going?"

"Professor Sienna gave me only a B plus on my essay," she replied sheepishly. "She said I didn't have enough conviction in my writing. I'm not really sure what that means."

"It could've been the wording you used. Did you use filler words?" he offered. "Like, maybe, perhaps, kind of – they can make you sound unsure about what you're talking about."

"That could've been it," She turned to Jessica. "You must be Jess. Riley talks about you all the time."

Jessica turned to Riley in surprise who was blushing underneath the light tan he got from living in California. He ran his hand through his hair. "Jessica, this is Megan. Megan, this is Jessica. And I don't talk about her all the time."

"Actually he does," Megan countered, smiling conspiringly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think he had a crush on you."

Before Jessica could reply to that, Riley started lightly pushing her towards the door of the classroom. "I'll see you later, Megs."

"I actually came to talk to you cause I'm going to be Professor Wesfield's new TA so I won't be at the meeting later," Megan told him. "But I will be at the barbeque tomorrow and you should bring Jessica. It'll be fun."

Megan walked off and they made their way inside the classroom, going for their usual seats at the middle of the room.

Jessica asked, "What meeting?"

"I joined a club at the start of the semester, remember? SBSA?" At her blank look he elaborated, " _Stanford Biosciences Student Association_. Which I tried really hard to get you to join with me but you said you didn't want to join anything until next semester."

"Oh right," She'd forgotten about that. Riley had tried to get her to join but the mention of a yearly camping trip had made her back out. "That's how you met Megan?"

"Yes and Jesse too," He paused at the mention of the still missing upperclassmen before continuing. "We're having the quarterly barbecue tomorrow and you should definitely come and eat all our food while the upperclassmen try to persuade you to join."

"This isn't secretly a cult meeting, is it?"

"We don't begin the brainwashing until after you've eaten," Riley easily deflected her banter. "And it's only polite to stay and listen to our cult's credo before you make a run for it."

"Well, I can't say no to that and the promise of spare ribs."

Riley smiled. "It's a date."

* * *

Bonnie received care package from her grandmother every month that ranged from homemade cookies to incense sticks. Her grandmother was apparently also a perfume maker as Bonnie had bottles and bottles of a perfume she liked to gift to friends. It had a pleasant citrus scent. Bonnie explained it was lemon verbena.

"It keeps vampires from wanting to bite you," her roommate continued. "The plant verbena has magical properties and it messes with their smell so they can't smell your blood and won't be tempted to take a bite."

Jessica spritzed some on her wrist and took a few sniffs, realizing it smelled familiar. "I swear this is what Stiles smells like."

"He uses it. Fae blood is like heroin to vampires so it's better to be safe than sorry for him."

"Is that why Edward doesn't want to bite him? I thought it was just because Stiles was annoying."

"That too," Bonnie grinned. "Stiles could annoy anyone to death if he tried hard enough."

Jessica sniffed her wrist again. Underneath the citrus scent was something that smelled herbal. It was faint but definitely there. The perfume mostly smelled clean and could see how Stiles wouldn't mind it.

"You should keep that," Bonnie said. "I have loads and I would feel better knowing your boyfriend wants to bite you less."

Jessica thanked her and spritzed perfume on her neck. She didn't know why she hadn't thought of using scents to help Edward before. His sense of smell was very sharp and they could've used something like mint to overpower it and just make his life more bearable. She made a mental note to email Alice with the idea later as it would be beneficial for Jasper.

She asked Riley if it was alright to bring Bonnie with her to barbecue and he agreed. Inviting Bonnie meant Scott was going which meant Stiles and Kira were going too. There was no inviting one of the New Orleans gang without getting all of them to come. The four didn't know how to exist without each other.

Jessica had no complaints. Befriending Bonnie had given her three instant friends who gave unwavering support and endless advice on how to deal with the weird, supernatural world they were in. Jessica could tell them anything about Edward and his family and they would have some anecdote they could relate with. Stiles had a superior memory and never ran out of stories.

She wanted to invite Edward but it was a very sunny day and he would be miserable huddling under his umbrella the entire time. Add in the fact they would be surrounded by a whole new group of strangers and he would have to try drowning out their voices both external and internal. There were some days Edward got so tired from hearing voices that he would drive away for weekend to stay with his cousins in Alaska just for the peace and quiet. He would send her plenty of texts about missing her and be back by Monday morning but she did feel sorry for him as he didn't have enough control with his power to shut it off. She tried to imagine the sheer hell of being a telepath and she would've probably lost her mind a long time ago.

She texted Edward where she was going to be and he replied for her to have fun and he was spending the day watching Charlie Chaplin films. She supposed he was okay if he was watching comedy. She would've been concerned if he was playing Beethoven. _Rage over a lost penny_ was the piece he played when he was really upset and she would need to call to Esme for help.

Palo Alta was still warm in November at least by Forks' frigid standards. She was only wearing a sundress and sandals as they all made their way to the barbecue. Riley greeted them and made a few introductions with his the other SBSA members before the boys and Kira went straight for the buffet. Riley didn't leave them as they ate corn on the cob and spare ribs smothered in a spicy sauce.

Megan had made candied apple for dessert and she talked to Jessica about classes. She learned that Megan was a Third Year Pre-Med student and was thinking about specializing in Cardiothoracics.

"I want to be a real life Cristina Yang from _Grey's Anatomy_ ," Megan declared. "And when I was a kid I had a heart murmur and this doctor saved me so now I kind of want to pay it forward. Enough about me, why'd you get into Biochem?"

Jessica smiled sheepishly as she took a bite of her apple. "I watched _X-Men_ when I was twelve and wanted to study human mutation. It's all because of Halle Berry."

"She is a babe," Megan smiled. "Can't blame you for that."

The other girl looked at something behind her and smiled wider. Jessica turned around and saw Riley sitting on a lawn chair with a guitar, strumming out a Radiohead song. Under the sunlight, Riley's hair was almost auburn and his brown eyes almost gold. With the high cheekbones, he looked eerily like Edward and it almost knocked the breath out of her. She had been aware of his attractiveness but never so viscerally.

"Riley's cute, isn't he?" Megan sighed. "If I was into boys, I would snatch him before anyone else had the chance."

Jessica stopped chewing, the caramel in her mouth melting and the sugar felt cloying on her tongue. "He just got out of a three-year relationship. He's not looking for anyone."

"Guys like Riley don't stay single for long."

Jessica swallowed. "I have a boyfriend."

"I wasn't asking," Megan gave her a look, her smile dropping as she looked at her seriously. "Riley's a good kid and you're not dumb. If you don't want him, let him go."

"I'm not doing anything to him. We're friends."

Megan didn't say anything more to that and walked away to talk to somebody else. Jessica stared at Riley who was now playing a Paramore song and had everyone singing along. She frowned as she contemplated Megan's suggestions. She and Riley were friends, nothing more.

* * *

They lounged on the grass as they tried to digest the food they consumed. Stiles' head was on Kira's lap as she leaned on Bonnie. Scott was the only one not full due to his werewolf metabolism and having his third candied apple for the day. Jessica warned him about diabetes.

"I burn through food fast," he explained. "My metabolism is insane."

Jessica had seen Lauren's food intake increase after her transformation but hadn't mentioned it in fear of the blonde's wrath. "How much can you eat?"

"I don't even know. My stomach is a black hole," Scott continued. "My mom complained I was going to eat her out of house and home."

Jessica was strangely jealous as she couldn't eat too much without fear of it going to her hips. She was too short to get away with it. She would look like a potato. _An adorable potato_ as Nana would say but a potato nonetheless.

Scott moved closer to her and sniffed the air eerily like Sunny. "Jess, did you change your perfume? You smell different."

"Bonnie gave me that lemon verbena perfume."

"Good old LV juice," Stiles said. "Keeps away vampires and smell like citrus-y goodness."

"That explains it," Scott smiled. "You usually smell like that sweet strawberry stuff."

She had been wearing the same _Victoria's Secret_ perfume since Freshman Year of high school. Edward remarked one time she smelled like strawberry jam. He called her 'strawberry short cake' and she threatened to set him on fire. She had meant it too.

"Just trying to make things easier for Edward," Jessica explained. "You know he has those killing people urges."

Scott looked down at the ground before replying. "It's not easy controlling those urges. For me, most of the time it's about keeping my temper leashed but when the full moon is here and the wolf takes over and all I can do is helplessly watch as it wants to go on a killing spree…"

They all went quiet and watched as he swallowed, Scott's usually sunny disposition disappearing to be replaced what looked like shame and melancholy. The difference was disturbing. She'd always thought Scott was so nice he couldn't hurt a fly even if he wanted to. Maybe she had forgotten what he was like she could forget about what Edward was and just thought them both human.

"The wolf it would kill anyone," Scott continued. "Doesn't matter who it was or if I knew that person."

He looked up and met Bonnie's gaze. "Even if I loved that person, if it had a chance it would rip them apart without a second thought."

Jessica remembered her birthday and when Edward had a taste of her blood and how he had been restraining himself with great difficult from feeding on her, from killing her. The urge was always under his skin no matter how deeply he tried to bury it. Alice had warned her to remember what he was. And Jessica tried her best to but she also knew being a vampire wasn't all Edward was.

"But you won't because we're here to stop you," Stiles sat up, staring intently at his best friend. "We'll take care of you, patch you up, and stay up all night with you because you're our friend and nothing is gonna change that so stop being maudlin."

Scott closed his eyes and if Jessica hadn't been sitting beside him, she wouldn't have noticed the slight tremor at his jaw as he kept it in his emotions. "Thanks, Stiles."

"You were channeling Edward too much there," Stiles pointed to Jessica. "Tell Eddie we're here for him too. He's one of us now."

Jessica could sympathize as she held back a wave of emotions that were threatening to make her start sobbing. "Thanks, Stiles."

After the barbecue, she didn't go back to the dorms. Kira and Stiles went back to Stern Hall and Bonnie and Scott were doing something together. Bonnie told her not to wait up as she was staying out late. Jessica told her to enjoy yourself.

Wanting to burn off calories, Jessica opted for a walk instead of driving. The walk from campus to Edward's apartment wasn't far and she let herself in with the key he'd given her. Edward was sitting on the couch and watching _City Lights_ and he looked up with a soft smile at the sight of her. She paused and stared at his handsome face illuminated only by the TV screen and he could've been an actor in those black and white films.

"I missed you," she said.

"I missed you too," He made room on the couch for her to cuddle up beside him. He kissed the top of her head then dipped down and sniffed at her pulse. "Why do you smell like Stiles?"

"It's a perfume Bonnie's grandma makes. Lemon verbena keeps vampires from smelling blood," she answered. "Do you like it?"

She couldn't see his expression as he kissed her pulse, making her shiver. "I can live with it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Megan is a character from The Vampire Diaries. She was Elena and Caroline's roommate at Whitmore.
> 
> 2\. The verbena or vervain plant was a big thing on TVD as it not only burned vampires, it kept them from being able to use mind compulsion on a human. Due to how vampires are in Twilight, I decided to make it that verbena only overpowers their scent. Lemon verbena is also an actual perfume though I've never smelled it. I hope it smells nice. I'm too broke to buy perfume just for research.
> 
> 3\. Werewolf metabolism wasn't as a portrayed here in Teen Wolf. I was basing it more on Twilight's werewolves (Quileutes) but it made sense that Children of the Moon wolves would also have fast metabolisms.
> 
> 4\. The VS perfume Jessica was talking about is Pure Seduction.
> 
> 5\. City Lights is a 1931 film starring Charlie Chaplin.
> 
> 6\. Chapter title is a play on Scott Pilgrim vs the World (which also starred Anna Kendrick).


	6. Tongue-Tied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Stanleys have a dinner guest.

Jessica was looking forward to Thanksgiving even just to have a few days she could breathe between the tidal waves of classes, projects, and essays. She would finally be able to see her high school friends and her family again. Most importantly, she would see Sunny again. She missed her dog with a deep longing that had her staring at photos of golden retriever puppies and crying.

Bonnie, Scott, Kira, and Stiles left together for New Orleans. Riley was catching a ride with them and they would drop him off at Santa Fe. Stiles was the most excited to go home and had regaled Jessica with their favorite places around the city. He had finagled a promise from her to visit someday (preferably around Mardi Gras) and she had agreed.

Edward would be going to New York. As much as he denied it, he had missed his family even as he complained about how his siblings would be annoying him again. He had suggested coming with her to Forks but she declined. There were only so many excuses he could make for not eating her mom's cooking and Jessica would expire from embarrassment at the thought of her mother ever walking in on her and Edward in her childhood bedroom.

"Maybe you can come visit me in New York for winter break," Edward suggested. "We could do all the cringe-worthy tourist things."

"Maybe for New Year's," Jessica agreed. "Can you handle being surrounded by drunken people while we watch the ball drop at the Rockefeller Center?"

He grimaced before pulling her closer to him. "Anything for you, I suppose."

"I know you hate partying with the kids, grandpa."

"It is a sacrifice I am willing to make."

He dipped down and kissed her. She smiled, feeling light and giddy. They had sneaked in time together when she wasn't busy. She fell asleep in his apartment as he read classic literature to her. She made love to him on the couch while watching that rain scene in _The Notebook_. She would miss him like a limb.

He pulled away, his lips resting at her temple. "Call me when you can't sleep, when the thoughts in your head cannot be quiet. I will be waiting."

"Take photos of New York and make me wish I was there with you," she replied. "Put dye in Rosalie's shampoo."

He snorted. "She would kill me."

"Blame it on Jasper."

He laughed and shook his head. "That would never work."

He kissed her half a dozen times, the falling leaves around them. The world was orange hues and soft browns. She vowed to keep this memory in mind as she had to part with him. As he drove away in Mo the Volvo, she thought it had to be a strange thing that the world felt colder without him.

* * *

Jessica and Eric had promised to see each other in college but they had both been swamped with their studies and the five hour drive made meeting up difficult. They were genuinely excited to see each other when she picked him up from the train station for the long drive back to Forks. Eric had been going to the beach and had a healthy tan which she envied as she was the type to go red like a lobster. He looked good and she started teasing him about girls.

Eric was flustered. "Quit it, Jess. No one's interested in me."

"Don't lie to me, Eric Yorkie," She gave him a look. "You're cute and there has to be leggy California babes just hoping you'd notice them."

He shook his head at her but he was smiling. "You flatter me but no."

"Why not? Are they blind?"

Eric was cute in that geeky boy next door way. He would be the kind of boy parents liked when you brought them home. He would take bazillion photos of you and know your mom's birthday. He was genuinely sweet and thoughtful and she might've been better off liking him instead of Mike when they were in high school.

"They have great eyesight and that's why they're staying far away from the hot mess that I am," he pointed out. "My diet consists of nachos and Red Bull. I am barely surviving."

"Oh God. Same," she confessed. "I still eat Cheetos in replacement of meals even when Riley tells me I'm gonna dye my insides orange."

"Who's Riley?"

"A friend," She snorted. "He's a self-aware hipster. Listens to Vampire Weekend and wears knitted hats. You know the type."

He paused then asked, "How's Edward?"

"He's in New York visiting his family."

"And are you still together?"

"Yes. He can't get rid of me even if he tried."

Not that Edward would ever try. He was as stupidly in love with her as she was with him.

"It's nice that one of us has a love life," Eric said. "And with _Edward Cullen_. He didn't even date anybody in high school before you."

If only Eric knew the full story of how they got together. It wasn't just stubbornness and stupidity in the way. There was the whole vampire thing and Edward being as old as dirt. Sometimes she couldn't help but think about all the ways they could've never gotten together and it freaked her out. Everything felt like chance and she wasn't enough of a romantic to believe in destiny and soul mates.

"Edward didn't really want to fall in love with me," she told Eric, keeping her eyes on the road. "It just kind of happened."

"Kinda like gravity, huh? You try to fight it but you'll fall eventually."

"That's one way to explain the Law of Gravity."

"Jokes aside, Jessica Stanley, you fell in love and that's a beautiful thing."

"More like annoying," She gave him a smile. "And just between you and me, girls do notice you. Angela had a crush on you the fourth grade."

He gaped at her like a fish and sputtered, "Wha…what? How come nobody told me?"

"Don't tell Angie I told you. She'd kill me."

* * *

After dropping Eric off at his house, Jessica was more than relieved to drive up to her childhood home on Evergreen Loop. She parked her car in the garage and made her way inside the house, carrying her duffle bag. She was greeted by an excited Sunny who made yipping noises and ran in circles around her, tail wagging constantly. She dropped to her knees and petted Sunny's fluffy face.

"Did you miss me, Sunny?" she cooed. "Did you miss me?"

Sunny licked at her face and let out more excited yips as if answering her with "Yes, human. Of course I missed you. Don't stop petting me" and Jessica obliged. She hugged her dog and took in the relief of being able to come home.

"Hi, Jess," Emily was there and holding that ukulele she could never be parted with. She whispered conspiringly, "We have a guest coming."

"Who?"

They never had guests for holidays. All their relatives were in Maine. And no one really wanted to make the cross-country trip. They had holidays with their neighbors occasionally like the Webers. The Stanleys never hosted dinners. They were not that kind of family.

The doorbell rang and Jessica gave a questioning look to Emily who shrugged. Jessica got to her feet and was about to go to the door but her harried mother ran out from the kitchen. Joan Stanley had dressed up and was wearing a nice black dress, had blow-dried her hair, and was wearing subtle but flattering make-up. She didn't say anything to Jessica as she opened the front door and Sheriff Swan was there with a bottle of wine.

Jessica didn't think she'd ever seen him out of his uniform. He was wearing a brown blazer and almost sheepishly handed the bouquet of daisies to her mother who smiled. Her mother was blushing. What was happening?

He said, "I brought red wine. I hope that's okay."

"No, no, it's perfect," her mother replied. "Pinot Noir goes perfectly with turkey."

Jessica got to her feet. "Turkey?"

They hadn't had turkey for Thanksgiving since before her dad passed away and her mother complained about the leftovers and they had to settle for chicken.

"Oh, hi Jessica," Her mother finally noticed she was there. "We're having a turkey this year. Charlie's going to be having dinner with us."

Her mother was on a first name basis with the Sheriff. Her mom was dating Sheriff Swan. How did this happen? She looked accusingly at her sister like this was all her fault and Emily frowned at her and walked back into the kitchen.

"We're almost done with dinner," her mother told 'Charlie'. "Why don't you watch some TV in the meantime?"

"I don't mind helping," Sheriff Swan replied. "What are you making?"

She smiled brightly at him. "Mashed potatoes with marshmallows. They're Jessica's favorite."

Still trying to process what was happening, Jessica excused herself and went to her room. She dropped her duffle bag on the floor and collapsed face first on her bed. Sunny followed her and poked her wet nose against her elbow. Without raising her head, she petted her dog and was happy something stayed the same.

Dinner was awkward but Jessica hadn't expected anything less. Her mom did most of the talking and Sheriff Swan would give short answers. He wasn't rude or disinterested, just not very talkative. While Stanleys could talk for hours, Sheriff Swan wasn't and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. The thing that made it really weird for Jessica was he was sitting at the place that had once solely belonged to her dad.

When Sheriff Swan excused himself to use the bathroom, she turned to her mom and asked, "Why didn't you tell me you were dating the Sheriff?"

Her mother went red and took a long sip of her wine. Jessica turned to her sister who raised both her hands and remarked, "Don't bring me into this. She told me not to tell you."

"I was going to tell you today," her mom finally said. "Charlie just got here first."

"You could've texted me on the way here! Or emailed me," Jessica pointed out. "And how did you two even happen?"

"Well, I was getting coffee one day and he was getting one too and we just kinda bumped into each other."

"Oh, you had a rom-com meet cute? And you didn't tell me?"

Her mother took another sip of wine. "I know. These kinds of things don't happen to women my age."

"You are due your mid-life crisis," She snickered at her mom's glare. "I'm kidding. Forty-one is not that old."

"Charlie's not even forty yet, just so you know."

Which translated to - he'd been teen dad. She didn't know that about him. Maybe he wasn't as boring as she thought. She had heard he was divorced and had a daughter that lived in a different state but she hadn't been too interested in the details.

"Dating a younger man," Jessica gave her mom a look. "Are you sure you're not having a mid-life crisis?"

Whatever her mom was about to say was cut-off because Sheriff Swan was back and they spent the rest of dinner talking amiably. Sheriff Swan asked her about college and remarked that his daughter was planning on transferring to Stanford next semester. Jessica remembered that brunette she met a few months ago that tried to hit on Edward. She thought the girl's surname was Swan.

"Is she pale with brown hair?" Jessica asked. "Says 'um' a lot. Lives in Arizona or something?"

Sheriff Swan nodded. "She grew up in Arizona but she and her mom live in Florida now."

"I think I met her."

"You met Bella?"

Jessica gave a very inaccurate summary of the event that excluded anything about vampires and her being possessive and jealous of her boyfriend who was about to murder Sheriff Swan's daughter in public. Sheriff Swan was apparently going to be taking her mom and sister fishing this summer and invited Jessica to go with them. She had a feeling she would hate fishing like she hated camping but the pleading look from her mother was hard to resist. She hoped there was cell service wherever they were going.

While Charlie Swan was very different to her father who was talkative and made cheesy science jokes, she thought Sheriff Swan was a good guy. Everyone in town knew him and had no bad thing to say about him. She couldn't resent his presence because she hadn't seen her mom so happy in a long time. Jessica had watched her mother grieve for her husband and lived for her daughters and faced every problem by herself. If she had been younger, she might've been pitched a fit and accused her mom of her trying to replace her dad but she knew better. There was no replacing her dad but her mom deserved some happiness.

After dinner, Sheriff Swan left and Jessica watched him drive away in his police car. She lied down on her bed and checked the time on her phone. It was nearly ten in the evening and it would be one in the morning in New York. She considered calling Edward but she didn't know if he was busy with his family. She never asked what vampires did for Thanksgiving.

Instead, she sent him a text and told him she missed him. He replied after a minute. _I miss you too, Jessica. I wish you were here._

She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to push away the deep longing trying to overcome her. She would see him next week. She would survive until then. She would not be that girl who couldn't survive without her boyfriend.

Edward sent her a photo. It was of the night sky. It looked like it was taken from the rooftop of a building. _Wherever we are, we're looking at the same sky._

She had to reply to that. _God, you're cheesy._

_You love it._

She even missed how he was always right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a filler chapter but we got some stuff done.
> 
> 1\. I just really wanted to get Charlie into the story. He was one of my fave characters in the films. Canonically, Charlie was about 19-20 when he and Renee had Bella. As the wiki said, he met Renee and married her his first year out of the police academy and he didn't go to college cause he was taking care of his elderly parents.
> 
> 2\. Will Bella be in this story? Still no plans to have here with the gang at Stanford. We don't need her. But since Charlie is gonna be around, she will be mentioned.
> 
> 3\. My dream cast for Joan Stanley is Christine Keeler.


	7. Hard To Cope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica struggles to cope.

Thanksgiving weekend was over before she knew it and she was heading back to school. The drive back to Palo Alto felt a bit faster now that she knew what to expect this time. Eric made a new playlist for the trip and brought up going to Comic-con in San Diego for the summer. He had nobody to go with and asked if she was interested.

She questioned, "None of your college friends want to go?"

He looked embarrassed when he admitted that they didn't. Their friends from Forks wouldn't be able to go to California for the trip. He had been made fun of by a few people in college and had been too shy to ask anybody else. She felt outraged on his behalf for the sheer asshole behavior of people and promised to go with him.

"Do I have to dress up? Like in a costume?"

"You don't have to but it would make it more fun," he replied. "It's probably the only time besides Halloween we can get dressed up."

"What are you going as?"

"Spider-man," He shrugged, smiling. "I feel some kinship towards Peter Parker."

She had been a fan of the movies with Tobey Maguire herself. They all used to go watch the movies as a group. Watching the third film had been one of the last things they would do all together before they separated for their respective colleges. Comic-con seemed like a good idea. Maybe she could bring Edward and her friends from Stanford. Stiles would be thrilled.

"Is it okay if I bring other people along with us?" she asked. "Maybe we could all dress up as Spider-man characters."

Eric looked excited. "You could go as Gwen Stacey!"

"I'm not blonde. And didn't she try to steal Peter from MJ?"

"The last Spider-man wasn't canon. It was a travesty," he countered. "Gwen dated Peter before MJ in the comics. And though you're not blonde, Gwen was a Science major. You'd be perfect."

"Why did they break up? Peter and Gwen?"

"They didn't really," Eric grimaced. "The Green Goblin threw Gwen off a bridge and Peter throws webbing to catch her but the whiplash snapped her neck."

Jessica stared at him in shock. "That's horrible."

"It was," He looked contemplative for a moment before adding, "Her death was used for Peter's character development, to make him realize the seriousness of his job as Spider-man. And in any case, he ended up with MJ so it worked out for him."

"Gwen still died."

"True but they probably wouldn't have lasted. Some people are not meant to stay together forever. That's not a bad thing. They're there to lead us to where we're really supposed to be."

Jessica assessed this more serious version of Eric Yorkie. "California really changed you, huh? Where did this existential version of you come from?"

Eric gave her a look. "I have always been like this, Jess. You just haven't been paying attention."

Maybe she hadn't. So much of her life had been focusing on a goal in school or getting into a school. Most things in her life had just been stepping stones towards getting whatever achievement she wanted. She wondered how much she missed focusing solely on her future that she forgot to notice the present.

She had to change that. She just wasn't sure how.

* * *

Bonnie and the rest were still on their way from New Orleans. Her roommate texted her they were delayed by Stiles' jeep breaking down and were currently sitting in the Mojave desert as Stiles tried to fix the engine. Bonnie's magic wasn't doing much for it and she went off with Kira to get food as Scott stayed to make sure Stiles didn't get eaten by a pack of coyotes. They would probably make it to Stanford late at night at best.

Riley hitched a ride with a few people and arrived at campus after Jessica did. They had lunch at The Treehouse and discussed their Thanksgiving. She told him about her mother's new boyfriend and Riley told her about his ever increasing number of nieces and nephews. He was from a large family, the youngest of eight children.

"Eight?" she questioned. "Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"One kid is more than enough trouble but eight? Your parents must really love kids?"

"It's larger than most families nowadays but we're not _Cheaper By the Dozen_."

"Aren't you though?" She pointed at him with a French fry. "You have seven siblings. That had to be insane growing up. I just have Emily and she drives me up the wall sometimes."

"There were moments they made me wish I was an only child but as we're getting older and no longer living under the same house it's gotten better," he replied. "And I'm the favorite uncle of all their kids so they're super nice to me when they need a babysitter."

She dipped a fry into ketchup and took a bite. "Of course kids would like you too."

Everybody liked Riley - boys, girls, kids, animals, even some professors. It wasn't hard to see why. The only person that didn't seem to like him was Edward. She learned to stop mentioning Riley to her boyfriend as the ever present tension was still there. What made it harder was the amount of time she spent with Riley in classes and around campus and she couldn't stop Edward from reading her mind.

She had no idea on how to deal with the situation. She'd never had to deal with a jealous boyfriend before. She hadn't told any of her friends about it as she had been scared that telling other people about it would make it worse. She tried to reassure Edward as much as she could but his doubts remained and it frustrated her because it seemed like he didn't trust her.

Oblivious to her thoughts, Riley asked, "You get any studying done over the weekend?"

"I managed while I snacked on turkey leftovers," she answered. "You get that paper for Professor Seneca done? I'm almost ready to set it on fire."

"It can't be that bad. Let me read it and I'll tell you what I think."

She sighed in relief. "Can I read yours too? You're better at writing than me."

"Sure," He smiled. "Anything for you, Jess."

Bonnie reported that Stiles managed to get his jeep working and they were on their way to Palo Alto. They would probably arrive within that night and Bonnie waxed poetic about how much she missed her bed. Their lunch of mystery meat sandwiches was probably going to give them food poisoning and Bonnie contemplated spelling Stiles' jeep invisible as revenge. Jessica relayed all of this to an amused Riley who had been getting Scott's version of events.

They sat on the floor of their dorm room. Riley had helped her with her essay and Jessica read through his wondering at how easily he expressed himself with words. She always felt unsure about where to go and usually went through dozens of drafts before being satisfied. Riley had no such issues and had an ease with words as he did when he was playing guitar.

"What were you like in high school?" she asked, trying to imagine it. "Were you in the marching band?"

"I played the trumpet _and_ I was in a band with my friends called Weird Fishes which was shamelessly taken from a Radiohead song. I was Student Council Vice President and wrote for the school newspaper."

"Total nerd. The school admission's office loved you, didn't they?"

"Maggie did say I was the most promising applicant of this year," He joked. "What about you, Jess? Let me guess. You were valedictorian, homecoming queen, and one of your exes is now the drummer of an indie band?"

"I was valedictorian and prom queen," she corrected. "And as far as I know none of my exes are in a band."

"But you date musicians? Isn't Edward a Music major?"

"He is. He plays piano."

"See? I knew you liked musicians."

She scoffed and he moved closer to her, not quite invading her personal space but enough that it made her aware of him. The afternoon sun through the windows illuminated him as red and gold and she saw the echoes of Edward in him with the auburn hair and gold eyes. She remembered a conversation she had with Edward where he wondered about how he would've turned out had he been born in this time with her. Would he have turned out like Riley?

"What are you thinking about?" Riley's voice was softer, almost a whisper. "You looked lost in your head there for a moment."

"Nothing," The lie rolled off easily. She didn't have to worry he could reach into her head and see what she didn't want him to. "Just kind of tired from the long drive."

"Maybe you should take a nap," He turned away and began collecting his things. "We can continue this tomorrow in the library, usual time?"

"I'll be there."

He headed to the door and she watched him leave still sitting on the floor. She picked up her essay and the corrections he made. He made it all look so easy. She felt a pang of envy and tried to bury it deep inside her.

* * *

Bonnie and the others arrived in time for dinner. Stiles scarfed his meal down, almost detaching his mouth like a snake to try and cram more food inside. They were too tired to hang out after dinner and Bonnie wanted a hot shower to wash away any semblance of the desert from her. Edward wouldn't arrive until early in the morning from New York. She missed him.

She tried to not focus on it when she was at home. She tried to keep busy with spending time with her family and studying for finals but any spare second when she wasn't actively avoiding the longing of wanting Edward to be beside her was miserable. She had never been in a relationship where she had to deal with this madness. She had made fun of girls who couldn't seem to live without their boyfriends and she could not even laugh at the irony she was becoming one of them.

How did she stop being so…needy? She hadn't been like this with other boys. None of those relationships had consumed her so thoroughly. She missed him even when he was across campus and she couldn't wake up beside him. She had valid reasons for not wanting to share his apartment before but those reasons became less important as time went by.

They didn't have classes in the same building and she never really saw him in the hallways so she headed to the Braun Music Center. Edward would be in the Recital Hall with his classmates. She sneaked into the room and took a seat at the back and tried to remain unseen. Edward was playing some complicated piano piece as his classmates tried to keep up.

She smiled knowing this was when Edward was happiest, just playing on a piano and letting the world around him disappear. He once told her music was one of the few things that could block out all the voices around him. It had been his salvation when he'd first turned and he was driven nearly insane by all the voices he was hearing, unable to find the difference between thoughts and actual voices. He played as much as he could, when he was happy or sad, when inspiration coursed through him like lightning and he needed to create something new.

She waited as class ended and Edward stayed by the piano listening to what the professor was telling him. His classmates packed up their instruments and left the recital hall slowly. Edward was the last to leave and instead of heading to the exit he made his way to where Jessica was seated. Something inside of her melted at seeing him so close again.

"You don't look like you belong here," He raised an eyebrow at her, faux serious as she smiled like a child at Christmas. "This is a place for musicians and patrons for the arts."

"I'm a patron of the arts," she responded, taking his hand in hers. "I appreciate your playing, always have."

His serious look melted like snow in the summer and he pulled her to her feet. He cupped her face in her hands, not caring that she hadn't looked the prettiest with her messy bun and over-sized hoodie. He leaned down and kissed her, the time they'd been apart dissolving into nothing. The world disappeared when she was kissing him and she wondered if this is how he felt when he was lost in his music.

"Yes, it is," he murmured, between kisses. "It's how you always make me feel."

God, she missed him. She ended the kiss and hugged him, burying her face on the soft fabric of his blue button-down. She didn't need to voice out how much she missed him and she wasn't sure she knew how to live without him anymore. He held her and it was all she needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. In Midnight Sun, Eric asked Bella if she wanted to go to Comic-con with him and his friends bullied him so much for it. I do not endorse this treatment so in revenge for poor Eric, they are going to Comic-con in this fic. Stephanie like to write the human characters in Twilight like total assholes and my kids, Jessica and the gang in this universe aren't amused.
> 
> 2\. Cheaper By the Dozen is a 2003 film.
> 
> 3\. Chapter title is from Alfie Indra's song 'Hard To Cope'.


	8. Milo Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward receives the best gift.

Jessica couldn't remember when she last had a full night of sleep as finals loomed closer and she had projects and essays to submit. She stayed so much in the library she would've moved in if they would let her. She felt sympathy and envy towards Edward's inability to sleep as she would get so much done if she didn't need to rest. On the other hand, she would be perpetually grumpy as she couldn't pass out from living for a few hours. It put a lot of Edward's behavior into perspective and his obsessiveness tendencies were probably caused by the need to escape the ennui of immortality.

She should suggest more hobbies for him. He said he never learned to knit. She could get him a book of knitting and the yarn and needles to get him started. He could make himself those knitted jumpers old men like to wear and maybe some socks.

She wrote it down on her list of gift ideas. She planned out what to get everyone a few weeks ago but had blanked on Edward. His family was loaded from Alice predicting the stock market and Carlisle's very long medical career so they could buy anything they wanted. Her prank gift ideas would be better suited for his birthday or Valentine's Day. She refused to email Alice and ask her advice because that would be equivalent to giving up.

She was a little more than a week from Christmas when she was able to find Edward's present. She had survived Finals week and the terror of waiting for her grades. She had to close her eyes and hand it over to Bonnie to read for her as she'd been too scared to see the result of all her hard work all semester. Bonnie snorted and told her to open her eyes.

"Is it bad?" Jessica asked, covering her face with her hands. "Is Stanford gonna kick me out for not meeting expectations?"

"Only if their standards are more than straights As."

That made her open her eyes and she gasped in delight as Bonnie handed the report card back to her. "Oh my God."

"Yes, you killed it," Bonnie remarked. "Maybe you can bring Edward his present now? We can only hide it for so long from everyone in this building."

"Your magic was very good at hiding it. Like I don't know how I survived this long without a witch as my friend."

"Yep, you know us, nature's cure to all of life's problems."

"And with extra sass as a bonus," Jessica put away her report card and grabbed her oversized coat she had snagged from her dad's things long time ago. "I don't look like I sell drugs to kids at the playground, do I?"

"The shortest drug dealer I've ever seen."

"I need the room for the present," Jessica explained. "And everything that comes with it."

Bonnie helped her with tucking Edward's gift underneath her coat. She even escorted Jessica from their dorm to her car and casted a few illusion spells to throw off people's attention. Once she was safely inside her car, she took the present out of her coat and laid it on the passenger seat and made sure to buckle the seatbelt over it. The drive to Edward's apartment was quick and she placed the present back under her coat to hide it from his neifghbors. She made her way inside and found Edward wasn't there.

Dang it. She should've texted him. She was about to reach for her phone when Edward entered the apartment. He must've just come from Braun. She smiled brightly at him and he paused and stared down at her torso.

He asked, "Why do you have two heartbeats?"

"It's your Christmas present. I have to give it to you earlier since you'll be in New York," She unbuttoned her coat and the revealed a beagle puppy. "Surprise!"

He stared wide-eyed at the puppy in her arms. "You got me a dog? How did you even hide that from me?"

"Magic. Bonnie helped me with hiding scents and how to shield my thoughts from you a bit." she answered. "I'm not very good at the mental shields yet cause I didn't have much time to learn but you know me too well to know I'm planning something if I started Rickrolling you again…"

He still hadn't moved closer to her. The beagle puppy began to fuss in her arms and she cooed at him to try and calm him down. She petted his little head and remembered when she saw the ad online for puppies that needed a home. She had gone with Bonnie and Kira to get the puppy and she ended up choosing the runt of the litter.

"I figured if he grew up with you as a puppy he won't be scared of you," she explained. "And you told me about that old beagle you had when you were a kid and…you don't hate it, do you?"

He closed his eyes, head bowing and she waited. He raised his head, golden eyes warm like sunlight as he smiled at her. He finally moved closer to her and held out his fingers for the puppy to sniff. The puppy was wary for a moment before giving his fingers a friendly lick. Edward patted the dog's head gently.

"I love your present, Jessica," he told her. "You always manage to surprise me."

She smiled, relief giving way to joy and she offered the puppy to him. "You wanna hold him?"

He took the beagle with the care of a new father and he cradled the beagle like a newborn baby. "He looks so much like Milo when he was little."

"Maybe you can name him after Milo," she returned. "Or Miles?"

"Milo is good," He leaned down and kissed her lightly, careful not to crush the puppy between them. "Thank you."

* * *

"What if Jasper tries to eat him?" Jessica asked, worriedly. "Or Emmett wants a snack?"

"Then I will set whoever did it on fire and finally be closer to being an only child again," Edward replied glibly before reassuring her. "Milo will be fine. My family already knows about him and is going to take precautions for his safety. Milo will be the safest puppy in the world."

"Not to be dramatic but I would die for that dog," Stiles remarked as they loaded their stuff into his jeep. "Milo is precious and I will wage war for him."

Milo had endeared himself to all her friends. Stiles and Kira had tried multiple times to get Edward and Jessica to give them custody to no avail. Edward was the only one not in student housing and could keep a pet so it as for the best. Jessica adored little Milo and dreaded not being able to see him for a few days.

She would be spending a few days in Forks with her family before flying to see Edward in New York. She already missed him. Milo, not Edward. She would miss him too but not as much as the dog. She gave a little kiss on Milo's face before Edward put him down inside the passenger seat of the Volvo. Milo looked like a small toddler dressed in his festive green sweater and buckled in with a seatbelt.

"It's just four days," Edward said. "Can you survive without him until then?"

"You're ripping him away from his mother. Forgive me for being emotional."

He chuckled and cupped her face in his hands. He pecked her forehead, the tip of her nose, and lastly her lips. She closed her eyes as he lingered and deepened the kiss. The pleasant burning in her lungs was worth it.

He pulled away but kept holding her. "Four days, Jessica. Count them. I know I will."

Four days till she had her baby with her again. Milo, not Edward. It would even make the long flight worth it.

"Take care of our son," She refused to cry. "Remember to take him on walks. Don't let anyone eat him."

He nearly rolled his eyes. ""He will be fine. And stop calling him our son."

"That's what he is," she insisted. "I'm his birth mother."

"And that's my cue to leave," He stepped away from her and walked around the car to get to the driver's seat. "I'll see you in four days. Four days of peace and quiet."

She placed a hand over her heart and grinned. "I love you too."

They all parted ways from there. Edward and Milo in his Volvo to New York, Bonnie and the rest made their way to New Orleans, and Jessica started the long drive to Forks. It would be two weeks before they were all together again. She pushed away the longing in her chest and drove to the train station to pick up Eric.

* * *

Aside from Mike, all of her friends were back in town for the holidays. They all met up at the Home Slice to catch up and discuss how their first semester in college had gone. Tyler had changed his mind about the University of Washington and had opted for the Police Academy to become a deputy. Eric's proudest moment was being able to interview Will Ferrell for their film class.

After a late dinner, Tyler and Eric left them and Jessica caught up with Angela and Lauren without having to watch what they were saying. She had told them about her friends at college and the magical melting pot of New Orleans over Skype but she was now able to go in detail of what Bonnie and the others had told her. The existence of a wolf pack hadn't surprised Lauren who explained that her grandparents had told her about them and had warned her to stay away.

Jessica questioned, "Why?"

"They're being tight-lipped about it but from what I've pieced together, my grandparents first arrived in New Orleans and stayed there for a time before something happened with the wolf pack," Lauren shook her head. "There's still some bad blood between them cause you can't even mention 'New Orleans' to Grandpa Ivan before he starts cursing in Russian."

"Do you think you have family there?" Angela asked. "I mean, they say that the Children of the Moon were nearly wiped out but maybe you have relatives that survived?"

"None that I know of. And from what we've seen my family liked to keep secrets. I could have a whole litter of cousins somewhere and I would have no idea."

Stiles had told Jessica about the dwindling number of werewolves and considered whether Lauren should make the trip or not. She might find a wolf boyfriend. She might learn things about her family. Or it could just be a really fun vacation.

"I have an open invitation for the Mardi Gras," Jessica said. "You should come with me. Bonnie can show us around."

"I don't know," The blonde looked wary. "There has to be a reason why my grandparents don't want me near that city."

"And since they won't tell you, the only way to know would be to visit and find out," Jessica gave her a mischievous smile. "Come on, Mallory, you're not scared, are you?"

"Curiosity did kill the cat, or wolf in this case," Lauren turned to Angela. "What about you, Weber? You up for an adventure?"

"I'll check my schedule," Angela's tone sounded very much like a 'no'. She was too sensible for their antics. "Jacob would insist on coming."

"Never mind then," Lauren nodded to Jessica. "I'm in. You and me in New Orleans someday?"

"Someday."

It felt like a promise. Jessica wasn't superstitious but it felt like they were being led towards something. They were all pieces in a game they didn't know about yet. And she wondered where their curiosity would take them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Jessica and Edward (and Milo!) in New York.
> 
> 1\. Instead of Jessica becoming pregnant, she gives Edward a puppy. Milo has been planned out since I started this story. He is here to stay whether you like it or not.
> 
> 2\. Will we ever go to New Orleans? Not in this story. But we will in the next installment to this series which will be from Lauren's P.O.V.


	9. Vampire State Of Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to New York!

Jessica didn't know if she'd ever get used to having the Sheriff at her house. He had dinner often with her family and seemed to be getting more serious with her mom. It was still weird seeing her mom dating but she'd just have to get over it. Emily had softened to Charlie after he helped her make a birdhouse for school.

Emily was even excited about going fishing for the summer. Jessica knew her sister never really had a dad as she'd been so young when he'd passed away. Emily had no memories of camping trips and Christmas mornings. She'd only ever had their mom and Jessica. If her mom and Charlie were really going to go the whole nine yards, he would be filling a gap neither of them could ever really replace.

She wanted to ask how her mom thought about all of this. It wouldn't be good if Emily got attached and this relationship ended as they tended to be. Neither her mom nor Charlie had dated anybody for years. Charlie hadn't even seen his daughter since the divorce. Everything was too soon and too fragile to hope for good things.

Charlie had dinner with them on Christmas Eve and had left a present for her mother under the tree before he left. The next morning, her mother unwrapped a book of French poetry and flipped through the pages with a peculiar look on her face.

Jessica asked, "You don't like it?"

"Actually I do," Her mother replied. "I told Charlie in passing that I originally wanted to take up French Studies in college before I settled for Accountancy. I didn't think he even remembered that."

"That's sweet of him."

"He's good at listening."

"He doesn't talk much."

"No. He only does when he has something to really say," Her mother explained. "On our first date, I rambled on and he didn't say a word. I thought he must think I'm so obnoxious and he was ready to run."

Jessica certainly didn't get her gift of the gab just from her dad. She got it from both parents. "But?"

"At the end of the date, he asked me out again. And I asked him if he minded that I talked the whole night and he said 'No. I enjoyed it.'"

"Oh, Mom. You two are adorable," Her heart melted a bit like ice cream in the summer. "Are you going to marry him?"

Her mother gave her a look. "We've been dating for a few months. Nothing is set in stone."

"But can you see yourself marrying Charlie?"

Her mother cleared her throat and stood up from the couch, tucking Charlie's present underneath her arm. "Let's clean up this mess."

As Jessica helped her mother clean up the discarded wrapping paper, she tried to imagine her mother getting married to Sheriff Swan. Imagined Charlie moving on, taking Emily on fishing trips every weekend, and sitting there quietly at the table as the Stanley women chattered like magpies. It was still too weird. She would just have to get over it.

* * *

When Jessica was little, she watched her grandmother make jello by throwing ice into boiling water and the ice would crack from the heat. The flight from Port Angeles to New York was long and tedious. Jessica had never liked plane rides especially during the holidays. The airport was filled with people and she tried to find Edward's copper hair in the crowd. He stood like a beacon against the sea of people around him, his face lighting up when he saw her.

Her insides felt like crushed ice as she ran towards him heedless of any people in her way. She leapt at him and he caught her, her feet dangling in the air as he held her tightly. Being parted from him always made her feel like her emotions would explode like a giant water balloon when they were reunited again. She wondered if he felt the same.

He gently lowered her to her feet. His golden gaze was whisky brown in the lighting. In the winter, he didn't stand out as much. She could see shades of the human boy he once was.

"It's the same for me. That crushed ice feeling," he admitted.

"Good," She smiled as she realized they hadn't greeted each other yet. "Hi."

"Hi," He grinned back at her. "How was your flight?"

She nearly groaned. "There was a baby that cried the whole way."

He chuckled and took her bag from her. She let him as her bag was heavy and he had super strength. He led them to where Mo the Volvo was parked and he drove them to Madison Park Avenue. The Cullens were staying at the penthouse of the building, a post-modern monstrosity with five bedrooms and panoramic views of the city's skyline.

Esme had fallen in love with Milo and frequently took him on walks so he wasn't there to greet Jessica much to her disappointment. Edward led her to a guest bedroom and she ooh-ed and ahh-ed at the view from the windows. She turned to him and shook her head. "What is with you Cullens and the extravagant houses?"

"We like our privacy," he answered. "And we had those windows changed to not let in UV Rays. Esme had the idea after you emailed Carlisle about how sunlight affects vampires."

He stepped beside her in front of the window. It was late in the day and the sun was nearly setting but the few rays in the room painted him golden. His skin stayed the same and didn't become that diamond coating. Her hand touched his wrist and traced the blue veins on his pale skin.

He questioned, "Are you researching about vampires again?"

"Harmless research, just ideas to improve your quality of living," she replied, pushing thoughts she didn't want him seeing behind the wall in her mind like Bonnie had taught her. "Like maybe we can use verbena as a spray for you instead of me so you can't smell any humans around you. Less temptation to bite anyone the better."

His eyes narrowed slightly as he concentrated. She imagined him moving through her thoughts and memories until he found what he wanted. He'd explained to her once the more he concentrated the more he could see visuals and not just words. He could see glimpses of memories and daydreams.

His eyebrows furrowed as he must've found the wall. "What is this?"

"I told you Bonnie was teaching me mental shields," she said. "I'd like a little privacy if that's okay with you?"

He didn't say anything. His expression puzzled and she imagined him concentrating on the wall and trying to find a way around it or through it. She gripped his arm firmly and urged him to stop. He closed his eyes and nodded in acquiescence.

She nearly sighed in relief. Edward was used to reading anyone around him like an open book. He would go through people and see their whole live stories in minutes. The lack of privacy had taken her time to get used to and being able to have some again was something she didn't know how desperately she needed. She had no secrets to keep from him but being able to keep things to herself and sharing them when or if she wanted to was necessary.

"Forgive me," he murmured. "I'm being a brute. I didn't invite you here to treat you so terribly. How do I make it up to you?"

"It's almost nighttime," she responded. "And we're in New York. What's fun to do around here?"

"Do you want the tourist stuff or what I actually do around here?"

"Can't I have both?"

He rolled his eyes but smiled. "God's spoiled child. Alright, Jessica. Whatever you want."

* * *

Jessica and Edward spent the days leading up to New Year's Eve taking a billion photos and indulging all of Jessica's whims. They walked around Central Park with Milo like they were in _When Harry Met Sally_. Emmett was surprisingly the one to ask for finding the best places to eat from Manhattan to Brooklyn. Alice sneaked her into the atelier at FIT and showed her the designs they were making for their next fashion show.

Jasper volunteered as the guinea pig for Jessica's verbena experiment. They learned through a handful of tests that it prevented a vampire from smelling up to three humans and the effects lasted for about five hours. It was enough of a success for the Cullens to start growing their own verbena garden on the terrace. One of Carlisle's many degrees was Chemistry and he was working with Emmett on different batches for the verbena perfume.

As a result, the penthouse mostly smelled of the clean citrus of lemons and the earthy verbena flowers. It wasn't unpleasant but Jessica missed the Christmas cookies scent she came to associate with the Cullens, mostly Edward. She sneaked into his room most nights and slept beside Milo. She would more often than not wake up to Edward watching her no matter how much she told him it was creepy.

If Carlisle and Esme knew where she'd been sleeping instead of the guest room, they didn't say. She and Edward hadn't done more than kissing and some heavy petting. She wasn't going to have sex where everyone in the penthouse had super hearing. She didn't have anything to affect their super hearing yet and until she did she wasn't risking it.

If by some stroke of luck or Edward being his manipulative self, they had the penthouse all to themselves one day. Carlisle was on his shift at the hospital, Esme was shopping for gardening supplies and had taken Milo with her, Alice and Jasper were meeting up with old friends in the city, and Emmett and Rosalie went out of town for the weekend.

She was eating breakfast when Edward told her they had the place to themselves. She nearly choked on a bite of croissant and glared at his too innocent expression.

"I hope you don't expect us to go at it here in the kitchen. People eat here," She frowned. "Well, I eat here but that changes nothing."

"I didn't say anything about the kitchen," he pointed out with the same glib expression. "Or about 'doing it'. Your mind went there on its own."

She spluttered in outrage. "You…you little…"

"Trust the mind-reader," He leaned across the island to peck her gently on the lips. "I missed you."

"I've been here. I haven't gone anywhere."

He kissed her pulse making her heart do a little skip. "You know what I mean."

Where was that blushing virgin he had been? What had she made him into? His family would know what they'd done in that kitchen even with all the verbena spray in the world. She would never live it down.

"Not here."

He pulled away and got to his feet. He offered his hand and she took it gingerly. She let him lead her to his bedroom. She watched as he pulled off his grey sweater, his skin like marble lighted by the early morning sun.

He didn't have to hide here like he did when they were in Forks or Stanford. She once thought he was made for autumn with his auburn hair and golden eyes. He could belong in winter too with his pale skin, the cold touch of his fingertips, and the softness of his full red mouth. He was different but similar.

The first thing she'd learned with Science was that the only constant was change. She saw him differently as time went on in changing shapes and colors and wondered if that was how people really loved. Maybe love was not a constant image but the unveiling of a portrait piece by piece. She wondered what the full portrait of Edward Cullen looked like.

"Not as interesting as you think," he told her, his hands tugging her t-shirt over her head. "I'm boring. Haven't you figured that out yet?"

She unzipped her jeans and he knelt down to pull it down her legs. "You? Boring? Never."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "And why is that?"

"Because, Eddie," She stepped out of her jeans and stood over him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and traced the slope of his neck to the high arc of his cheekbone. "You're too weird."

He laughed, eyes closing and head titled back as the deep husky sound echoed through the room. His mirth was infectious and she couldn't help but smile. She loved him. And she liked to think she always would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've all been missing some Edward/Jessica relationship moments so here you go.
> 
> 1\. Originally I was going to have the Cullens live in a brownstone but realized it wasn't enough room for them. Penthouse sounded more their thing anyway. The Madison Avenue Penthouse is huge and has humongous windows which was again a very Cullen thing. The idea for windows blocking out UV Rays was taken from The Vampire Diaries.
> 
> 2\. The school Alice goes to is the Fashion Institute of Technology.
> 
> 3\. Chapter title is a play on the Jay-Z song 'Empire State of Mind'.


	10. Drop The Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fireworks aren't the only things going off.

Jessica found an appreciation for watching the snow falling from the penthouse windows. Being able to enjoy the sight snow while warm was something she never wanted to take for granted. The Cullens were considerate enough to keep the heating on for her even as they had no need for it. And they were spoiling her with the food.

After a semester of subsidizing on junk food and whatever she could make with Riley at the last minute, the amazing dishes Esme would make for her every day were unbelievable. When she wasn't being fed at home, Edward took her to eat around New York's never-ending restaurants. She was worried she would end up with holiday weight she would have to burn off and she had no time for that. She would have to go on early morning runs and sacrifice sleep.

She did enjoy spending time with Edward's family. The Cullens all had the same trait of having a bottomless pit of stories. Some were sad, some were happy, and some were downright weird. Some were about meeting famous people in history or about how Edward's old cigarette habit accidentally caused a fire alarm to go off during a bizarre visit to the White House.

"First of all, glad that you kicked that smoking habit even if you can't get lung cancer," she told Edward. "Second, why were you in the White House?"

"I met John during World War II as a battle medic. We were stationed at the Solomon Islands together," Carlisle explained. "We became friends. And he later invited me to attend a dinner at the White House. I brought Esme and Edward with me."

"You personally knew JFK?" Jessica couldn't believe it and turned to Edward and smacked him in the arm. He grimaced. "You said you never met him!"

"He was probably too embarrassed since it led to him being tackled by Secret Service after his cigarette break caused the fire alarms to go off in the building," Esme remarked. "Jackie was gracious about the whole thing. She said it happened all the time. Everyone used to smoke back in those days."

Edward ran his fingers through his auburn hair gingerly. "Not my finest moment. We were never invited back."

Thoroughly interested, Jessica asked Carlisle, "If you were at the Solomon Islands, how did you end up at Manzanar?"

"I was called back as they needed doctors at the concentration camps," Carlisle explained. "To my surprise, one of the detainees was this woman named Noshiko, a kitsune. She was the first one I'd ever met."

Carlisle looked lost in thought as he continued, "I had known about the Children of the Moon but I didn't know there were more creatures that existed. She told me about witches and how magic was real. And it was surreal to realize that there were others hiding in plain sight like I was, like we are."

"We met witches over the years but they had a dislike for vampires," Alice pointed out. "I don't know why. Maybe they didn't like that we didn't have a pulse."

Jasper responded, "That does tend to disturb people, darling."

Edward added, "Along with our urges to kill humans."

Jessica quipped, "As the human in the room I have to say that we take it as a personal offense when somebody bites us and drain us like a juice box."

Edward rolled his eyes and she gave him a look. "Good to know."

Jessica looked over to Jasper and Alice. "Anymore good stories?"

"There was that time Edward met Elizabeth Taylor," Alice supplied with an impish smile. "She was interested in him and he was his usual awkward self…"

* * *

Jessica tried to keep up with her Stanford friends. She texted "Happy holidays!" to all of them. Stiles told her about that the ghost of the Axe Man was terrorizing the city and now everybody was playing jazz throughout the night in fear of being the next victim. The witches were working on an exorcism which was extra difficult as the Axe Man had been a witch and they needed precautions so he didn't keep coming back.

Jessica was beginning to think Stiles was making up all the stories about their lives in New Orleans. There were too many insane stories to all happen in one place. Either New Orleans was the most dangerous city in the world or Stiles was fibbing. She had lived in a small town with vampires and werewolves and her life there hadn't been as crazy as the fantastical tales of Stiles Stilinski.

She borrowed Edward's laptop and was on Skype with Riley who was babysitting his pack of nieces and nephews. He was trying to make s'mores with them in the kitchen and they kept trying to crush graham crackers or throwing them at each other. Riley kept his cool as he tried to keep in control of the chaotic energy around him. Jessica watched it all with visible amusement.

"You're laughing now, Jessica, but just you wait," Riley warned. "Someday you'll have your own kids driving you up the wall and we'll see how you fare."

Jessica raised both eyebrows at him. "Who said I was having kids?"

Riley blinked and asked her, "You don't want any?"

"Never really thought about it."

She didn't hate kids. She'd just been ambivalent towards them. She didn't mind babysitting Emily from time to time but there was the caveat that Emily wasn't her kid. The thought of having kids felt like a faraway concept. She was only eighteen for Pete's sake and she was dating a vampire who was sterile for all intents and purposes.

There would be options if she really wanted children. But she wasn't sure if she wanted any. She had no need to have kids. She had career ambitions and life goals she wanted to focus on before even thinking about putting her womb to use.

"Kids can be a handful," Riley smiled at his niece as he helped her make her s'more. "But they're also really cute sometimes."

His niece looked straight into the camera. She looked a lot like Riley with the same thin face and brown eyes. She had to be about four-years-old. She asked Riley, "Who is she?"

"That's Jessica, Uncle Riley's friend," he explained patiently. "She's in New York. Do you know where that is?"

She pointed to the left and Riley shook his head, smiling.

"No, Chloe. Other way," She switched and pointed to the right and he nodded in approval. "That's right. New York is at the opposite of where we are."

"That's far," His nephew who was like a mini Riley except for the darker hair remarked. "Why is your girlfriend so far away?"

Jessica nearly choked on air. Riley was flustered, his face a bright pink. He met Jessica's shocked face and they could each other's discomfort through the screens. He turned back to his nephew.

"Austin, Jessica isn't my girlfriend," he tried to clarify. "She's just a friend. We're just friends."

His other niece piped up, "Mommy says all you talk about is that Jessica girl."

Another nephew joined in, "Why isn't she your girlfriend? Don't you think she's pretty, Uncle Riley?"

"I…" He ran his fingers through his brown hair. "I don't…well, yes, I find her pretty but that doesn't mean we're dating."

Austin asked, "What does it mean then?"

"That I might put my head in the oven," Riley laughed nervously and gave Jessica an apologetic look. "I think we should end this call, Jess. We have to finish making the s'mores."

She grasped at the escape with both hands. "Sure. No problem, Riley. I'll talk to you some other time."

Riley gave her that charming infectious smile of his. "Happy New Year, Jess."

"Happy New Year."

She ended the call and the image of Riley surrounding by a brood of little children that looked like him disappeared. She could see him the same way in ten years or so. Riley was the type to get married and have kids. He wouldn't question whether he ever wanted to be a father or if it was the right thing for him. He wouldn't question whether he would regret never having any kids like she did.

* * *

Edward took her ice skating that morning at Bryant Park along with his siblings. Rosalie and Emmett were back from their weekend away and Jessica tried her best to ignore the moody blonde. Alice was the best at ice skating and glided on the ice like a winter sprite. She could've been a talented figure skater in another life.

Jessica had only gone ice skating a handful of times. She managed to stay on her feet with Edward effortlessly skating backwards as if mocking her. She tried to chase him to push him over but he evaded her. She nearly slipped and he caught her with his quick reflexes, keeping them both upright.

She pouted up at him. "Don't say a word."

He mimed zipping his mouth shut but he was still giving her that insufferable smug look. She pulled away from him and concentrated on keeping her balance as she skated forward. He wordlessly followed her. She took the time to look at the people around her and the view of the skyscrapers surrounding them.

She had watched this very same place in movies all her life and she was there in real life. How was any of this possible? She slowed down and Edward caught up to her. She took his hand in hers and they skated around the rink together easily.

Jessica had been the most excited to watch the ball drop at the Rockefeller Center. It was the hundred-year anniversary and they had a giant LED crystal ball made. It was only going to be her and Edward as the rest of the Cullens weren't interested on spending their night around a crowd of humans. Edward wasn't too excited about it either but he was braving through it for her.

She'd dressed warmly and Edward and they made their way to 44th Street and Broadway to get inside the venue. Edward told her that Carlisle had witnessed the first official "ball drop" and the fireworks show back in 1907. Jessica wished she'd been into photography like Eric so she could capture every moment. Her phone's camera was blurry at best and wouldn't do the sights any justice. At least she would have her memories.

The countdown was mostly standing around and watching the screen of the Times Square building. She and Edward got her some dinner before they went back to their chilly vigil. It wasn't easy to get back in and out of Times Square so they stayed where they were and Edward tried to distract her by telling her stories of old New York. It brought to mind that the end of another year hardly mattered to him as it was one of many for an immortal.

Unwanted thoughts started crowding her mind and she remembered the conversation with Rosalie about how she would grow old and die and Edward would keep on living. She would be a footnote in his extended existence. And then there was Riley asking her if she didn't want kids and she could almost picture it – Riley as a father with a chaotic bunch of kids that he loved dearly and she could be their mother, she could be the wife who would grow old and die with him. The normalcy of it all beckoned to her.

Edward let out a wounded hiss and panic rushed through her as she realized she hadn't been doing a good job of keeping him from reading those thoughts. They were dangerous and she'd been too afraid to even give them space in her head lest they become reality. These doubts had been festering in the darkest parts of her subconscious for months waiting for her to acknowledge them and she did not know to fight them. She did not know how to give voice to explain to Edward why she was even having them.

Edward closed his eyes, swallowing before he asked, "Do you really want to be with me, Jessica?"

"Of course I do," she replied with near desperation. "I love you."

"But do you want to be with me even if it means you'll lose everything else?" he pointed out. "A normal life where you have kids and grow old, a life where you never have to keep secrets and hide…"

A life he wanted before the choice was taken from him. He confessed to her during his last birthday, maudlin and contemplative, that he'd wondered and yearned for that human life he'd never have again. He wondered about becoming a father and if he would've been a good one. He wondered about growing old and dying after a life of regularity, ignorant of the existence of vampires. He told her of that he could never fully stop blaming Carlisle for taking all of that away from him and how he never wanted to do the same to another person.

She confessed, "I don't even know if I want any of that or if I'm just being silly."

"Silly? There's nothing silly about the choice between life and death," he retorted. "I am a death sentence. You'll waste your life away being with me or worse you'll want to become like me."

"What's wrong with being like you?"

She tried to picture it, eternity with him. She would never grow old or get sick. She would have all the time in the world to study and research and learn. She would never have to worry about losing him and they would have each other until the sun burned out.

"It's not that romantic. There's death, pain, and a never-ending hunger," Edward remarked. "If I could be human again, I would take it in a heartbeat."

"But you can't. The only choice here is whether I should become like you or not."

"That's not an option."

"It is for me," she insisted. "If I want to become one, will you try to stop me?"

His jaw clenched and nodded. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Maybe not but the choice would always be mine to make. And if you didn't want to be the one to turn me, you're not the only one of your kind."

"Jessica," His tone was grave. "That would be suicide. You'd be throwing your life away."

"So I could be with you," She stared into his golden eyes and willed him to understand. "And you say you love me but you balk at the idea of having me forever. Am I just your human experiment until I die and you can move on?"

"No! That's not-" He let out a low growl in frustration. "It's not like you're the one to talk. You were just thinking about marrying Riley and having his babies."

"I thought it for a second," she retorted. "And I was having some doubts because I don't know where I stand you."

"What? You know where you stand with me. _I love you_."

"Then act like it."

"Fine," He bit out through his teeth, the anger visible on his face. "Whatever you want, Jessica."

He turned away from her and she demanded, "Where are you going?"

"Making the choice for you."

She was about to shout at him and not caring of the people around them when the clock struck midnight. The LED ball glowed a brilliant white as it dropped and the crowd around them cheered. The fireworks exploded in the sky in a kaleidoscope of colors, nearly blinding her. She tried to find Edward through the crowd but he was gone.


	11. Heartburn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Moon (Jessica Stanley remix)

Jessica was furious. It was an easier emotion to cling to than the sadness that threatened to overcome her. After Edward left her at Times Square, she had to make her way back to the penthouse which took a while due to the crowd of people cornering her in. When she finally arrived at the penthouse, cold and exhausted, only to find out that Edward took Milo, got in his car, and drove off without an explanation.

He left her. He fucking left her without a goodbye or a note for when or if he was ever coming back. His family was used to Edward wanting to be alone for periods of time but he'd always given her a heads up when he needed his space. He didn't just leave her in radio silence and refused to answer calls and texts.

Esme tried to reassure her that Edward always came back and he was probably in Alaska with the Denalis. A part of her wanted to go to Alaska, hunt him down, and punch him in the face. They fought as all couples did and he wasn't allowing them the opportunity to make up and fix things. She was stuck in limbo.

She wasn't sure if they did break up. His final words to her sounded like he was ending their relationship but she couldn't be sure. If only he would answer her calls and get a confirmation. Knowing the answer terrified her because it meant they were over for good.

She loved him. She was sure of that. He was the first boy she had ever loved. She loved him with a desperation that felt like insanity. It felt like it would consume her.

He left her and she saw was his shadows all over his room. She still had a week before she had to get back to Stanford for the new semester but staying with the Cullens' felt like she was intruding. She was friendly with the majority of them but her place had been as Edward's girlfriend. She wasn't good enough friends with his siblings to stay there without feeling awkward.

Esme and Carlisle insisted she could stay and they were happy to have her but she wanted to go home. She didn't want to spend every hour hoping Edward would return. She didn't want to go to the places she'd gone with Edward and miss him so much she couldn't breathe. She wanted to be back in Forks with her family.

Alice helped her change her plane ticket for the next day and she and Jasper drove Jessica to the airport at an ungodly hour. They offered to wait with her until she had to go on her plane. She was going to decline but she needed a distraction from his misery. Jasper was giving her strange looks.

"What?"

He frowned. "He does love you. You don't have to doubt that."

Jesus Christ. Could the Cullens and their invasive super powers just stop for five minutes? If she didn't have Edward reading her every thought, she had Alice telling her snippets about her future. And here was Jasper telling her what feelings she was having like she didn't know.

"Can we not do this now?" She let out a deep sigh. "I don't really want to have a heart to heart."

Alice didn't seem to get the message. "It's going to be okay. I've seen your future and it's-"

She cut her off. "And it's happily ever after. Well, at the moment we're not there yet. We're at Edward abandoning me and possibly dumping me and refusing to talk to me so we're at the really shitty part far away from the future you saw, Alice."

"I know things look bad but it won't last," Alice's cheerfulness felt almost like she was trying to mock her. "When things are tough, look at the bright side!"

"And what is the bright side?" Jessica demanded. "Enlighten me."

The other girl seemed at a loss and turned to Jasper for help. He shrugged. Alice gave her an apologetic smile. Jessica knew she was being a jerk but she wasn't really in the mood for Alice's cloying optimism when she had less than four hours of sleep.

"Let me try," Jasper told his wife before switching places with her to sit beside Jessica. He hadn't sat or stood this close to her before and she surmised that the verbena helped with his control. "Here's the deal, sunshine. Edward is a fool."

They could both agree on one thing.

"Before he became a vampire, he led a charmed life where he succeeded at everything he did and would've probably gone the same route if not for the influenza getting to him," Jasper continued. "It took him over a hundred years to finally fall in love and he doesn't understand that relationship take _work_. That love isn't always soft and wonderful like they are in books. That it's _difficult_ and there will be plenty of moments where you will absolutely despise each other."

Jessica kept quiet as she took this in. She had been guiding Edward as best she could and he had been willing to listen until he wasn't. The fractures in their relationship had been happening over time, both of them ignoring the flaws and hoping they would go away. They were both cowardly in that sense and Edward more so as he couldn't even stay with her to face the continued fracturing of their relationship.

"I can't fix things if he's not here," she said. "If he's not willing to try."

"He's an idiot. He always comes back. For all his faults, Edward is loyal. And he adores you. He waited a century for you," Jasper replied. "I'm not telling you what to do. If you want to wait for him or not will be your choice. But as somebody that has been around you both and felt what you felt for each other, I would advise to give this time."

Time? It felt like one of the things she didn't have. They fought because he didn't seem to want more time with her. He didn't want to even contemplate the possibility.

"We fought over me turning into a vampire," she admitted. "He's against it and I thought that he doesn't want to spend his immortality with me. Like maybe I'm just a passing fancy for him till I grow old and die."

"It's not that. Edward was raised Catholic and he kept some of those teachings to heart even up to now," Jasper's eyebrows furrowed. "It didn't help that Carlisle got into his head and made him believe being a vampire was a sin against God, that we were damned."

Alice remarked, "Carlisle's backstory isn't any better."

Jessica listened with shock and horror as Alice explained Carlisle's life as human, the son of a religious zealot pastor who burned people at the stake who they suspected were vampires and witches. Carlisle was turned by a vampire he had been hunting and hated himself for what he became. There were more layers to Edward's issues than she realized. They ran deep and she wasn't sure how she could help him.

"Whether or not you decide to become a vampire is for you to decide," Alice insisted. "It doesn't matter what Edward wants in this. He'll just have to get over it."

"It's not as terrible as Edward makes it out to be," Jasper pointed out. "It has its downsides but there are upsides to immortality."

Alice reached across to take Jessica's hand. Her golden eyes stared deeply into hers as she told her, "You are going to do great, important things."

Jessica smiled, trying to joke off Alice's unexpected gravitas. "Like Marie Curie?"

"More. And you have no idea."

* * *

Her mom knew something was going on with her but didn't push for her to talk about it. Her mom had always been patient and let Jessica come to her when she was ready. It wasn't that Jessica didn't want to tell her about her boyfriend troubles. It was that she couldn't tell her about her _vampire_ boyfriend troubles.

Thankfully, she had her friends. Telling Angela who was madly in love with Jacob just made her feel like crap so instead she went to Lauren. The blonde's blunt no-nonsense outlook on life always helped her put things into perspective. As they were getting older and heading towards adulthood, Lauren's pragmatism became stronger.

She went over to the Mallorys' house like they did back in high school and told Lauren everything that happened in New York with Edward. Lauren listened as she ranted about Edward's jealousy of Riley, his condemnation of her becoming a vampire, and his deep self-loathing due to his religious beliefs. She was hurt, angry, and drained from having to deal with this mess. And she had to be back in California next week and deal with classes while Edward was brooding up in Alaska.

Lauren got to her feet and went to the kitchen, returning with two beers. She handed one over to Jessica. Returning to her seat, she remarked, "What do you want to do now?"

"I don't know," Jessica admitted. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"I didn't ask that. I asked what you _wanted_ to do," Lauren returned. "Do you want to stay in a relationship with Edward or do you want to end it?"

"Of course I want to be with Edward. It just doesn't look like he wants to be with me."

"Then why were you thinking about Riley?"

"I didn't want Riley. I _don't_ want Riley."

"But?"

"He reminds me of what Edward could've been if he'd been born in this time, if he was human," Jessica could see all the shades of it. Whatever flickers of attraction she felt for Riley was because she could see the similarities between the two of them. "He has all the good parts of Edward. He's loyal, smart, creative…"

"And?"

"And he doesn't have Edward's flaws. He's not jealous, obsessive, and doesn't have a ton of baggage I don't know how to deal with."

"Well, Cullen does need therapy," Lauren said. "Most people need therapy."

"I thought about it for one second. What it would be like to be with Riley instead," she continued. "We'd get married, have kids, grow old together. It would be normal."

"You wouldn't have to worry about him accidentally killing you because he got too hungry or him deciding he doesn't want to date a human anymore."

"Yes. It would be easier."

"Easy? Never pegged you for someone who looked for easy, Stanley," the blonde replied. "You never shied from hard work. You equated the easy choice to being lazy."

"There's a difference between difficult and how impossible this situation is," Jessica sighed deeply. "Rosalie was right. We're doomed to fail. Maybe continuing this is just _impractical_."

"I don't know much about the rest of the Cullens but Rosalie Hale always seemed like she had a chip on her shoulder which is a lot coming from me," Lauren told her. "Have you thought that she's unhappy so she doesn't want anyone else to be happy?"

"It doesn't make her wrong, does it? What if I fail?"

"You've never shied away from failure either. You try again until you succeed. That's what you've always done," Lauren reminded her. "Remember back in Freshman Year and you got a D in German? You freaked out that you'd ruined your chances for getting into a good college."

Jessica remembered that mini meltdown. She had spiraled that she would disappoint her parents and not be valedictorian. She would not get into a good college and she could never become a scientist. It felt like the end of the world.

"And do you remember what you did after you calmed down?"

She nodded. "I started studying more until I got it. And I got an A plus in the class."

"You're not a quitter, Stanley," Lauren pointed a finger at her. "Never have and never will be."

"I know," Jessica took a long swig from her beer. "But what do I do if Edward quits on me?"

* * *

The day before they all had to leave Forks again, they decided to go to La Push for all time's sake. Jessica had forgotten how cold it was to get in the water in January but it wasn't stopping any of them. Jacob and his friends dared each other to jump off the cliff which had always terrified her to see. The Quileute boys were fine and thankfully didn't ask them if they wanted to try.

Angela handed Jacob a towel to dry himself. His previously shorn hair was long again and reached his shoulders. Jessica could admit that aesthetically Jacob Black was very attractive. And how he was smitten and made Angela happy endeared him to her.

Lauren squeezed seawater out of her hair and looked away. Jessica eyed her skeptically and asked, "Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"Breaking up with him?"

"No," Lauren replied. "It was for the best. We can be friends now without having that romantic tension looming over us."

"Was it so bad being with him?"

"Actually, he's wonderful. He's kind, sweet, funny, and a good listener. But we can't give each other what the other needs," the blonde explained and cocked her head in Jacob and Angela's direction. "That's true love. They belong together and there's no denying that."

"He imprinted on you too."

"Maybe imprinting is not all about romance. I needed a pack and he gave me one," Lauren smiled. "He gave me Leah and she's the sister I never had. I'm not alone anymore in this even if it's not all rainbows and sunshine."

Jessica tried to understand it. She learned the previous year that the world was bigger and more complicated than she could've ever imagined. People had always been complicated on their own and adding magic to it could be both catastrophic and amazing. There was still so much to learn in the world.

"Soul mate magic aside, do you think somewhere out there is the right person for you?" Jessica asked. "Someone that you could see yourself with?"

"If they come then I'll be open to it," The blonde shrugged. "And if they don't come, I'll still be content."

Jessica contemplated on that. A part of her wished she could be more like Lauren, not needing a boyfriend. Falling in love had brought so much color in her life but also more grey. As much as she tried to fight it, she kept clinging on to Edward. She couldn't stop loving him and she didn't want to.


	12. Only Fools Rush In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's rewind the clock.

_Then..._

Birthdays had to be frivolous for an immortal. What was another year when you could live forever? While humans made a big deal about aging as they became more aware of their mortal as time went on but a vampire wouldn't have the same concerns. What did one get somebody for their a hundred and sixth birthday?

Edward could buy anything he wanted or he already owned whatever he needed. His most prized possessions were boxes of old vinyl records or music sheets. There were first edition novels and books that were no longer in print. And then there was the movie collection, shelves of DVDs and tapes, and rare autographed posters.

Jessica struggled to come up with a gift idea for weeks. Her ideas were either too expensive or much to her annoyance was already owned by Edward. She considered giving him a gift card and calling it a day but her Stanley pride wouldn't let her give up. She ended up asking her friends for advice.

"Get him a guitar or something," Lauren suggested. "Or a ukulele. I don't see the difference."

Angela looked vaguely appalled. "There is a difference. But it's not a bad idea, Jess."

"He's loyal to pianos. Even the thought of switching to a string instrument gives him hives," Jessica replied then reconsidered. "Hypothetical vampire hives."

Angela nodded. "You can get him a kalimba."

At the blank stares Jessica and Lauren gave her, she explained, "It's like a mini piano. It's originally from Africa."

Jessica questioned, "And where can we get this African mini piano?"

"A brand new one would be expensive but we could try thrift shops in Anacortes or Seattle."

"I remember there is that music store near my old school. I don't know if they're still open," Lauren remarked. "My Uncle Stephen bought a guitar from them once."

Jessica wasn't sure if the trip would be worth it. What if they went there and they couldn't find this so-called kalimba? "Seattle is three hours away…"

"It's not that far," Lauren countered. "And I'll drive. We can go get coffee. I really miss Seattle coffee."

"You were thirteen when you moved here."

"And I miss the coffee from there."

Jessica snorted. "What about it, Ang? We could go this weekend."

Angela smiled. "Sure sure."

Lauren put an arm around both of them. "It'll be great. We'll have a day without your boyfriends and all their supernatural weirdness. I can show off the wonders of my hometown."

"Rain and coffee," Jessica replied. "And a hatred of umbrellas."

Lauren wasn't fazed by her jibe. "If you can't take the rain, don't go to Seattle."

There were downsides to dating a mind-reader, one of which was to mind her thoughts when she wanted to keep something from him, like her reason for going to Seattle. She ended up telling him over text where she was going that Saturday and gave him strict instructions not to stalk her. She wouldn't put it past him to drive to Seattle and skulk around, tracking her movements. Edward would say he was trying to be protective and she didn't have time to unpack how creepy he could be.

He replied, _I just want to keep you safe._

_From what? Lauren is with me. She's terrifying. And she's a freaking WEREWOLF._

_She's human most of the time. What if you were to go into a dark alley and there are scoundrels?_

_Scoundrels? Is this Victorian England? And I'm not going into dark alleys by myself. That's what the buddy system is for._

_Do you even know what the crime rate is in Seattle?_

_No. Please tell me you're not looking up crime statistics._

_I am not._

_Edward._

_I am._

_I'm going and you can't stop me. It will be fine. Don't follow me to Seattle. I will be very upset if you do._

_:(_

_I love you._

_I love you too. :(_

The trip to Seattle went well. Lauren was excited to be in her hometown again. It was the summer so the weather was almost pleasant. They found the music store near Lauren's old school. Lauren intimidated the guy at the store to give them a good deal for the kalimba then they went to a coffee shop where they drank great coffee and Lauren told them stories of her childhood in the city.

It was easy to forget that Lauren hadn't been with them till middle school. Jessica had known Angela, Mike, and Tyler in kindergarten and Eric had moved in grade school. Lauren had another life before they knew her. She had friends she left behind and memories of a city she no longer lived in. Jessica wondered if this is how she would feel about Forks once she was in California, a place that she had once thought home, but would feel like a stranger place the longer she was absent from it.

"I can't believe they closed that pizza place," Lauren said. "It was so greasy but I loved it. They would smother the pizza with so much cheese."

Angela remarked, "Maybe it got shut down for health concerns."

"Or they got bought out by a chain restaurant," Jessica added. "The evils of capitalism."

* * *

Lauren bought a to-go cup to sip for the drive home. Jessica sat in the passenger seat and tried to play the kalimba. It was a square piece of wood with metal keys on top that made tinkling sounds when she pressed on them. She managed do-re-mi at the least.

She really hoped Edward liked it. She wrapped the gift and tried to clear her mind. She looked up methods for clearing one's mind at the public library and there had been a lot of meditating. She spent two days sitting at the backyard on a matt and trying to concentrate on her breathing except Sunny kept distracting her. She opened her eyes and Sunny's wet nose was a few inches from her face and she yelped when Sunny gave her a kiss.

Another trick Alice had taught her was to listen to music as it was a good way of distracting Edward from her thoughts. She found that Avril Lavigne worked best. She drove to the Cullens' house on Clearwater Road and put in her earphones, making sure to play Avril Lavigne on her iPod shuffle as she got out of her car. Before she could ring the doorbell, Emmett opened the door.

"Stanley," he greeted her with a grin, moving out of the way to let her in. "What brings you to Casa de Vampire?"

"Edward's birth-"

Emmett covered her mouth with his hand which was terrifyingly large and icy cold. "Sssh. We don't say that word here."

She pushed his hand away, grimacing. "Why?"

"It's a weird thing to celebrate when you're a vampire," he clarified. "We technically have two. We got your human one and the vampire one which is more like death-day but everyone says it's too morbid to call it that."

"How about calling it turning-day?" she supplied. "Or siring-day?"

"Siring-day could work," Emmett nodded. "I will bring it up with the others in the next family meeting."

"You have family meetings?"

"At least once a month we have one to air out any grievances. Carlisle insists on it. There's a trust circle and Esme gets very upset when we try to kill each other."

Jessica didn't think she would ever get used to the Cullens' family dynamics. Wanting to go back to her original purpose, she asked, "Is Edward home?"

"He's getting lunch with Jasper and Alice. They should be back in an hour."

Shoot. Now she had a full hour to waste. She had never really been in the Cullens' home when she wasn't spending time with Edward or that time Alice made her a prom dress. Maybe she should leave and come back later.

Emmett shrugged and offered, "You wanna play _Portal_?"

Jessica had only ever tried playing one game on Mike's Playstation and that had been _Call of Duty_ which she'd hated. Emmett led her to the living room and set up the Playstation and instructed her on which buttons to press on the controller. He showed her a game where they were two robots jumping through portals and having to solve logic puzzles which she was enjoying a lot more. She was interested in the game's backstory and Emmett gave her a brief explanation of an evil AI that liked to make tests.

Jessica questioned, "And she just wants to make tests? Not take over the world?"

"Don't make fun of GLADOS. She is a scary broad, worse than a Terminator," Emmett quipped. "At least a Terminator just wants to kill you. GLADOS makes you literally jump through hoops and _then_ tries to kill you. She's like an evil professor."

Jessica laughed then went back to concentrating on the game. They were in the middle of trying to figure out how to move a cube and bouncing off a wall when Emmett called out without looking away from the TV screen, "Hi, Rose! Don't be shy. It's just Jessica."

"I'm not shy," Rosalie returned as she moved away from the doorway. She sighed as she looked at what they were playing. "You promised Jasper you wouldn't play that until he got home."

"Well, I wasn't expecting a guest. It's Edward's fault for not informing us," Emmett swore as his robot jumped off the wall and fell. "And I'm impatient and Jessica is better at this than Jasper."

Jessica bit back a pleased smile. None of her friends had wanted to play video games with her and it felt nice that somebody wanted to. Rosalie looked exasperated and she took a seat on the couch beside Emmett, putting him in the middle. Jessica tried to focus on the game but Rosalie's presence made her uncomfortable.

They never really interacted. They ignored each other like they had a silent pact between them. She didn't want to get close to the blonde after the incident at the graduation party and Rosalie hadn't offered any olive branches. And that was what made this so awkward because Emmett had been so warm and welcoming and his wife was…not. It made her wonder how they even ended up together.

"Okay, Jess, I'm gonna make a portal here and here," Emmett instructed. "You make a portal there and jump with the cube. Got it?"

Jessica followed and they both exclaimed in excitement when it worked. Emmett gave her a high five and they created a cheesy song for the loading screen. Rosalie must've been annoyed with their behavior because she gave Emmett a kiss on the cheek and left for the garage. Emmett explained Rosalie was their resident mechanic and maintained all of their cars. She was actually the one that bought Mo the Volvo.

"She doesn't look the type of girl to like cars," Jessica said. "I thought she'd be into fashion like Alice."

"Appearances can be deceiving, little one," he replied and looked more somber. "And most of the time, people create walls to protect themselves cause they've been hurt."

She kept quiet as they continued the next level of the game. She hadn't seen Emmett look so serious before. They were using the blue and orange goop. Her robot bounced off the blue goop as Emmett fired a portal for her to go through.

He continued, "People aren't born with defenses. The world forces them so they learn to protect themselves."

"Is this your way of telling me that Rosalie's not so bad?"

"She's tough but there's a reason I'm mad about her," he said. "You're mad about Edward and he's moody and uses too much hair gel."

She had to concede to that. "I've been telling him to stop with the gel but he doesn't listen."

If she was being honest, Rosalie reminded her of Lauren. Angry and defensive but there was a reason for the way they were. She had to earn Rosalie's story and in the mean time she would try to be more understanding. After all, there had to be a reason a big goofball like Emmett fell in love with her besides the fact she was a living Barbie doll.

* * *

Edward, Jasper and Alice were finally back. Edward had blood all over his shirt and looked like he escaped a horror movie so he took a shower as she finished another level with Emmett. Jasper was upset with Emmett for playing the game without him. Alice read through a copy of Vogue and ignored them all.

"You promised me you would wait," Jasper said. "You specifically said you would not play this game without me."

Emmett shrugged. "And I broke that promise. Sorry, cowboy, I have poor impulsive control."

"Unbelievable," Jasper shook his head, walking away. "I am not forgiving you for this."

"Come on, Jazz," Emmett followed him. "I didn't finish the game! We can still play together…"

Alice stopped looking through her magazine. "Don't worry. Edward's going to love it."

She was never gonna get used to all the superpowers either. "Thanks."

"And he's done with the shower," Alice got up from the stuffed chair with her magazine in hand and gestured for Jessica to follow. "You can go up now."

They made their way upstairs and Alice left her to go to her and Jasper's room. Emmett was at the door, trying to get Jasper to talk to him. "Come on, Jazz, it was a one-time thing. Jessica meant nothing to me."

Jessica pretended to be hurt. "Ouch."

"Hi, Jess, we should totally play together again before you leave for California," Emmett told her before going back to beseeching Jasper. "What do I gotta do to make you forgive me, Jazz? You want a diamond ring? A beach house in the Mediterranean?"

Jasper closed the door on his face. Emmett did not let up and continued to talk through the door. Jessica left him and went straight to Edward's bedroom. It was the last one at the end of the hall. His room had the best view of the forests behind the house with large windows. Edward told her once that Esme made the house with so many windows because it was the one place they didn't need to hide what they were.

Edward was drying his hair with a towel and was dressed only in sweat pants and a shirt. He was usually so well-dressed, she enjoyed when he dressed down. Without gel in his hair, it was almost too long on him, copper bangs nearly covering his golden eyes. He looked like he belonged in a punk band.

He smiled softly at the sight of her. "Hello, darling. I missed you."

"I missed you too," She pulled lightly on his t-shirt to get him to bend down and kiss her. Even on her tiptoes, she wouldn't be able to reach him otherwise. "I know you said you don't care about celebrating today but I couldn't resist."

He cupped her face in hands and gave her a faux look of disappointment. "For a valedictorian, you're terrible at following directions."

"Shut up," She pulled away from him to reach into her bag and pull out his gift. "I went to Seattle to get this so you can manage to be more grateful."

She handed him the wrapped gift and he stared at it, his expression blank. He tore through the wrapping paper agonizingly slow, the colorful shreds falling to the carpeted floor. Her heart felt like it was thrumming fast like a hummingbird as he finally opened the cardboard box and saw the kalimba. He looked curious as he pressed on the keys, a tinkling sound echoing throughout the room.

"It's a kalimba," she explained. "It's like a mini piano for when you don't have an actual piano nearby. I thought you might enjoy it."

He didn't reply. His fingers played do-re-mi on the keys. He wouldn't look at her. Her heart was beginning to sink into herself, trying to hide. Did he hate it? Why wasn't he saying anything? He hated it.

He shook his head, chuckling. He finally met her eye and declared, "I love it, Jessica."

She let out a deep exhale of relief. "Oh, thank God. Cause I had such a tough time looking for a present for you! I couldn't even bake you a cake cause you don't eat that. I thought about getting you a rabbit to munch on but that would've probably made me cry and-"

He interrupted her by dipping down and kissing her deeply. Whatever she was about to say melted away. She kept her eyes closed as he pulled away. His hand tucked her hair behind her ear and she breathed in. She was genuinely so happy that he liked her gift. She was a good girlfriend.

"Yes, you are," he agreed. "You're the best girlfriend I could've ever asked for."

She tried not to feel like she was melting from the inside out at the adoration she saw in his golden eyes. She swallowed, trying to hide the swell of emotion in her throat. "Can you play me something on your new kalimba?"

"Of course."

* * *

_Now..._

Jessica practically sprinted down the hallway of FloMo, trying to escape back to her room. One of the other students had been playing Elvis songs all day and she could hear " _Can't Help Falling In Love_ " even as she made her way into her room. It brought back too many memories. It had been the first song Edward played for her on the birthday gift she'd given him.

He coaxed her into singing the lyrics she sung quietly, not wanting to bother the rest of his family who could hear them. They spent the rest of the night with him playing on the kalimba and she sang. Ever since then that stupid Elvis song reminded her of him and she hated that a song made her want to run away. It was a freaking song.

" _Like a river flows, surely to the sea_ ," the loud speakers across the hall crooned. " _Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be_ …"

She lied down on her bed and covered her face with a pillow, trying to block the song out. She tried to push away the memories. They stayed in her mind, mocking her, inescapable. She was not going to cry. She refused to cry.

" _Take my hand, take my whole life too_ ," the speakers continued. " _For I can't help falling in love with you…_ "

She remembered smiling as she sang the last line to Edward, meaning each word. She loved him. He told her he loved her but why wasn't he here? Why did love feel so painful and complicated and like her world was falling apart around her?

She looked up from the bed, putting aside her ineffective pillow as Bonnie entered the room. She hadn't told her roommate or any of their friends about what happened over New Year's. Lauren and Angela had tried to cheer her up but they were in Seattle and they couldn't talk as much as they wanted between classes. She tried to keep herself busy with studying but she couldn't study all the time and it was when she wasn't focused on something that the melancholia set in, like she'd lost a vital organ and she didn't know how to function anymore.

"Hey," Bonnie smiled at her, looking a bit harried from a long day of classes. "You okay?"

"I don't know," Jessica sat up and she hugged the pillow to her, needing something for comfort. "I just…I just miss Edward."

"You said he was in Alaska. When's he coming back?"

"I don't know."

Jessica closed her eyes as she gave in. She couldn't stop it anymore. She burst into tears. Bonnie looked stricken before she came over and pulled her into a hug. Bonnie asked her what was wrong but she couldn't put it into words. She could only cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Song title is a lyric from Elvis 'Can't Help Falling In Love'.  
> 2\. The game Emmett and Jessica play is Portal 2 Co-Op which I know did not come out until 2011, four years after this story is set but PS3 didn't have other multi-player games I liked in 2007 so just ignore that timeline error.


	13. Now That I'm Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica gets by with a little help from her friends.

Jessica spent a weekend being useless. She knew she needed to study because midterms were always lurking around the corner but she couldn't get herself to leave her room no matter how she stressed about failing her classes. Bonnie and Kira tried to be there for her. They kept her fed by forcing her to go to the Dining Hall and they tried to distract her as much as they could.

She was grateful that she had such good friends that cared for her but it was hard to be around them when she knew they were both with the boys that loved them. She couldn't see either Scott or Stiles ever abandoning them. Scott and Bonnie were actual soul mates that had only ever loved each other. She couldn't help but bemoan how unfair it was that her friends had found their person and she lost hers because…

Because he didn't want her. Edward would frame it a hundred different ways but he didn't want her enough to have her around forever or even for her short human life. He would be there if he did. He would've stayed no matter what.

Stiles showed up that Sunday. It was a rare sight to see him without Kira or Scott. In his Stanford hoodie, he looked like any other student there. It made it easy to forget what he really was.

He entered the room, keeping the door open behind him. "Hey, Jess. You busy?"

She sat up. All she'd been doing was crying or staring at the ceiling. Her eyes were so tired she just wanted to take a nap. She hadn't showered and she felt disgusting.

She said, "Bonnie's not here."

"I'm not here for Bonnie." He smiled encouragingly. "I heard about what happened. Secrets are kind of hard to keep in this group especially when you have a magical lie detector."

She turned away, not wanting him to see her face. "I'm fine."

"Uh, Jess." She turned back and he pointed at himself and reminded her, "Magical lie detector, remember? You can't fib with me."

She sighed deeply and covered her face with her hands. "I'm just tired, okay?"

"I know." He moved closer to her and held out his hand. "Come with me? I have something to show you."

She looked at his outstretched hand warily. He cajoled, "I can't lie either. I promise it's nothing bad."

She took his hand and he pulled her to her feet. They left the dorms and got into his jeep. He drove them to the woods where they met up once a month for Scott's moonlit shifts. He led them deeper into the woods until they came across a large oak tree.

"You brought me here to show me a tree?" she asked.

Stiles smiled. "I love trees. It's a fae thing. My favorite tree back home looks a lot like this one." He walked closer to the tree and touched the trunk with a hand. "Ever since I was little, I would go to that tree and tell it all my secrets. Trees are very good listeners. I visited my tree the most during my Senior Year."

He paused before continuing, "Did you know I loved somebody before Kira?"

She was shocked. She hadn't heard anything from their friends. She had thought he and Kira were soul mates that were each other's first loves and the universe had just easily brought them together.

"I didn't know," she replied. "Who were they?"

"Her name was Caroline Forbes. I met her in kindergarten. You see while Scott and Bonnie were having their moment with the crayons, I thought I was having my own when I saw Caroline for the first time. She was the prettiest girl in our class. Blonde hair, big blue eyes…I was a goner."

"And?"

"And she was in love with Scott."

Her eyes widened. "No!"

Stiles nodded, chagrined. "Yep. It was very complicated for a while because anyone who's ever been around Scott and Bonnie know that there's no getting in between that. Caroline never really had a chance and she never really saw me that way no matter how hard I tried."

She remembered something when Stiles told her about the Volturi. "You told me before that she was turned into a vampire."

"Right before our Senior Year, she ran into a vampire one night. Wrong place, wrong time," he explained. "The Strix have strict laws about turning well-known people in the city and Caroline was the daughter of the Police Chief and the Mayor. She either had to leave or she would be executed."

"That's horrible."

"The night she left we went to say goodbye to her and she couldn't be near me because my blood was testing her control. She was a newborn and she couldn't handle her thirst that well yet. She left and I haven't seen her since."

She felt a wave of sympathy for Stiles. He looked forlorn as he remembered the events. It hadn't been that long since all of that happened. His grief over losing somebody he loved still weighed on him.

"Do you miss her?"

"Yes, but it's different now."

"How?"

"I used to wonder about what we could've been if she hadn't been turned or if we were just two ordinary, boring humans. Not exciting about us at all. All those lives we could've lived." He closed his eyes, exhaling. "And I think a part of me will always love her. Maybe just not in the way I had before."

"And what about Kira?"

"Kira moved to New Orleans in the second grade. She was sweet, shy, a little clumsy." He chuckled. "She was in love with me and she used to follow me around in her fox form. I didn't know it was her. I didn't see her because I was too busy looking at Caroline."

He opened his eyes as he said, "Caroline was gone and suddenly I saw her, Kira, _my Kira_. And I felt so stupid for not seeing her sooner when all this time she was what I had been looking for even when I had been so blind."

"I love Kira with my entire being. I could never see myself with anyone else," he declared. "And I can finally love Caroline like a friend."

Jessica bowed her head as she said, "I don't know how to let go of Edward. I know feeling this misery is going to destroy me but I don't know how to make it stop. I've never loved anyone like I love him and it really fucking hurts."

"I know." He moved closer to her and gently put his hands on her shoulders. "But believe me, you can get through this. You'll survive. You might even find love again."

"I don't know if I even have it in me…"

"I didn't think I did either but life surprises you." He smiled. "Just keep going, Jess. You're not alone."

"What if I move on and he comes back?"

"Then you'll make a decision when that comes but in the meantime, you have to live for yourself."

She told him about the fight with Edward and how she felt about him not wanting to spend eternity with her. Stiles looked more sympathetic and he sighed and told her, "I understand where he's coming from. Fae are immortal. Even harder to kill than vampires and it's hard knowing you have to watch someone you love age and die while you stay the same."

He dropped his hands and he looked thoughtful as he enumerated, "Werewolves don't live long, all those transformations take its toll. I'll get fifty years with Scott at the most. Witches live longer so I could get a hundred years with Bonnie. And kitsunes can live up to two thousand years so I'll have Kira for that long."

"And after?"

He looked into her eyes, his expression haunted, aged beyond his youth. "I'll be alone. Granted, I'll meet more people. But I will only have my memories of those that have gone."

She smiled and remarked, "You'll have seventy years with me."

A heartbeat for an immortal. Like fireflies that lived for one night. Her seventy years must be like a grain of sand in his hands. She had wondered before what was time for an immortal?

"Seventy years I will always remember," Stiles replied. "No matter how much time passes I will remember."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. And if Edward ever stops being an idiot, he will come back to you because he wouldn't want to waste another minute of that time."

"I'm just a heartbeat in time-"

He cut her off. "You have anatomy classes, Jess. You've studied the human heart and you should know that every heartbeat counts."

She raised a hand and rested it above her heart, feeling the persistent beat underneath her fingers. "Every heartbeat counts."

"Every single one," Stiles concluded. "From here to eternity."

She continued to feel her own heartbeat, likening it to the ticking of a clock.

* * *

Jessica went through the motions. She went to classes, studied, and filled the in between with spending time with her friends. She spent a Saturday learning lacrosse from Stiles and Scott and learned she was terrible at it. She started learning Japanese from Kira and helped Bonnie collect herbs for her potions.

There were days she felt so overwhelmed with despair she just wanted to crawl up and die. She would cry in the girl's bathroom in between classes. She would eat nothing but ice cream the whole day. None of her friends could make her laugh.

And some days she was getting days where she almost felt normal. Those were the good days where she smiled more and she wouldn't even think about Edward for hours. She could pretend he was something she made up, a figment of her imagination that had no power to hurt her. She wished she had good days all the time.

She was with Riley on a good day. They were studying in the library and she made her laugh so loud at a joke he made that they got kicked out. Packing up their things, they giggled like bandits as they left and made their way back to FloMo. The night air was cold and they watched the stars in the sky enjoying how peaceful the world was in that moment.

Riley turned to her, smiling and said, "You look happier."

She turned to him in surprise. She hadn't told him about Edward. She didn't know if their friends had said anything and Riley hadn't pried. She didn't think he even noticed something different with her.

"I could tell something was going on with you but I didn't want to push it," he continued. "I was hoping you would tell me when you were ready or if you wanted to."

"Edward and I broke up." The words had a slight bitterness to them but not as devastating as they had been a few weeks before. "I don't know if we'll ever get back together or if he'll ever come back."

His brown eyes were kind as he asked, "Do you want him to come back?"

The answer would be 'yes'. She loved him despite everything but she was also wary. She had seen how much power he had over her. How easily he could've broken her and letting him back in would ensure him that he was assured forgiveness for anything.

If she forgave him this, what else could she forgive?

She could only be honest with Riley. "I don't know."

Riley nodded as if expecting that. She was reminded that he'd had his heart broken not too long ago. He hadn't collapsed into himself like she almost did. He kept going and it gave her some semblance of hope. If he could survive this, she could too.

"Well, the night is still young and our morning class tomorrow got cancelled," Riley said. "What do you want to do tonight?"

"Did you bring that Friends box set your siblings gave you for Christmas?"

"It's in my dorm."

"Let's watch a few episodes."

"And by 'a few' you mean a whole season, right?"

She laughed and didn't disagree with him. They huddled closer together to fight off the cold. They didn't hold hands but he wrapped his arm around her when she began to shiver. It was not that different to when she, Kira, or Bonnie would use Scott like a walking heated blanket but it was Riley.

This was the boy that Edward had felt threatened the most of. This was the boy she had envisioned a normal life with if she had never met Edward. Seventy years, a heartbeat in time, they could have that together. But what was she thinking?

Riley wasn't in love with her. She couldn't hurt him. They were safe.

She was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking. 'Seph, where have you been?' Here's the truth: I was working on an original story. It has witches, demons, prophecies, romance, teenage shenanigans, and a talking fox. There's over 50k+ words available as of the moment. It's called Simmer. It's on AnyStories if you wanna check that out and support me.
> 
> 1\. There are conflicting information on how long kitsunes lifespans are. On Teen Wolf, Noshiko is 900 years old and looks to be middle-aged so I just went with the logic that she's middle-aged and she could probably live up to twice that.
> 
> 2\. The lifespan of Children of the Moon aging I just based it on Being Human where the transformation will eventually kill them as their bodies age and they can no longer take it. I didn't really want to slow down their aging. The Quileutes pack does age slower due to their shifts but I didn't want to follow the same logic with Children of the Moon.
> 
> 3\. I figured with magic witches could live a longer lifespan but they will succumb to old age eventually.
> 
> 4\. Stiles is considered an infant with the fae considering their longevity. Faes are probably the most formidable opponent vampires could have in this universe. They're immortal and harder to kill than vampires. They have magic and can hide themselves. And they're better at making allies with other species.
> 
> 5\. This chapter is dedicated to my friend, Kat. She recently went through a break-up and we had a lot of talks and some of those conversations helped me write this chapter. And she doesn't mind. She even said I should write about it.
> 
> 6\. Another major inspiration and the chapter title is a lyric from the Olivia Rodrigo song 'Driver's License'.


End file.
